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Friday, January 20, 2017

Oh My Word, I am So Sorry.

For. any of you that care, I am sorry it has been so long since I posted anything on here.

Life just seems to really be clipping along at a fast pace and I seem to be more and more subject to outsiders demands and schedules.

It is actually much worse now that I have older kids, which is ironic because I remember when I had all these little people running around my house and it just felt so....crazy sometimes.  Well, gone are the days where the six kids and I just hung out at home, doing our school work and going on field trips or adventures, at our leisure.  Here are the days where my high schoolers have competing academic and athletic schedules.  I feel bad that my 3 youngest aren't getting a chance to have those quiet days at home like the oldest 3 got.  Now, more than not, they are piling into the van so we can drop off or pick up an older sibling from their stuff.  Sometimes they can bring school along and kill two birds with one stone, but lots of times it just makes our "home" school day horribly hectic and interrupted.  They are NOT getting the kind of education that their older siblings got.  I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing....or if it just is what it is.  It is definitely different.  I am hoping the academic content is at the very least the same, but I am not sure because I am rushing to and fro.

But, I really miss the days when I truly controlled our days.  I have no control now.  I don't like it. Rainman seems to be doing a lot more of the heavy teaching than I am these days.  Which, I guess is both good and bad. He is an incredibly smart and dedicated dad and husband.  But, I am so busy with other stuff, that I am missing that time to just sit on the couch and help them stumble through fractions or history.

So, that is part of my reason for not blogging more.

The other parts are slightly more complicated, and also somewhat related to my older kids.  They are older and have many more opinions now on what pictures are posted of them and what stories are shared with the world.  The words, "Don't put this on your blog!"  have become common around here.  It has become harder and harder to give them their own personal privacy and still share my stories of being their mom.

I have also been in what I will call - mid-life- crisis mode with my internal thought processes.  Lamenting the fact that I am really beyond child bearing years now and no more little babies will be coming into my world (biologically anyway).   There are other mid-life type thought processes happening so, but I will share (whine) about those some other time.

None of this makes for very good blog reading.  No cute pictures go along with a middle aged lady being confused and feeling sorry for herself.  So, here is one from our very first cruise!


So, I guess I will say, that I am going to TRY to blog more regularly.  Even if it isn't for you guys, it helps me document our lives and events so I will remember them when I am old!