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Tuesday, May 30, 2017


I have become one of those infrequent bloggers this year, haven't I?

For the ten of you out there that care, sorry.

It has honestly been so long since I posted, that I had to go back and read my blog to see what I had talked about last time I updated you.

I had told you about accidentally buying a house.

That has changed.  When we were on spring break, we got a call from our realtor that the house we had a contract on, had received another non-contingent offer.    We couldn't remove the contingency from our offer without selling our house.  So, we were done.

I will admit that losing that house definitely put a pall on my enjoyment of our vacation.  Rainman and I though talked things over and decided to just take out a loan and make changes to our house, including putting in a pool that Rainman and the kids have been wanting for the last 4 years (and I will admit that I have also missed having).

When we got home, I went crazy on Pinterest.  I mean, I really let myself dream big.  I pinned design ideas, new cabinet ideas, pools, pool houses, farm tables.  Ooooh, it was fun.  After about a week of dreaming, I mentioned to Rainman that he should call the bank and make sure we could actually get a home improvement loan to do the projects we were interested in doing.  We both sort of chuckled and said something like, "of course they will.....they were going to give us a huge mortgage..."

How naive we were.

The bank said that they could certainly help us out, but we would have to piece together 3 or 4 loans to get to about 50% of what our projected costs were going to be.  We both said, forget that.

That weekend, I headed back over to the MLS listings and started looking again.  One house and its land stood out to me.  The pictures looked pretty good (but we all know how misleading they can be), the price really stood out to me (about $70,000 cheaper than the lake house).  I sent the link to Rainman and asked him if this house "did anything for him".

He said, as expected, "Let's go look at it."

I wanted to look at it as soon as possible, which meant that not all of us could see it.  It was just me, a few of the kids and two of my friends.

As we drove up to the house, I told the kids, "This reminds me of Minnesota."  There were even cows right across the street from the house.  It had a nice, quiet, rural feel.

We walked in and I walked room to room, pointing out things I liked.  It truly just kept getting better and better.  I got to the laundry room and with my realtor and friend standing there, I announced, "I feel like I am going to cry."  Then I sort of did.  LOL

Here are my reasons for being emotional:

  • The laundry room had lockers like I used to have at our Minnesota house 
  • Just about every single thing in this house were things that I had been pinning all week (the cabinets, the beams in the ceiling, the windows, the light airy atmosphere, the layout of the rooms, the storage.
  • I have wanted to have a light blue bedroom for YEARS, but it has never been high on my list of To Do items at my houses, because the main living areas needed my time, money and attention first.  Guess what color the master bedroom is at this house?
Those are just a few of my top reasons.  I texted Rainman and told him he was in trouble because I was in love.  

Eventually, we were all able to go see the house.  We all loved it. 

The only problem is that our house still has not sold.  My realtor was trying to be encouraging and I think tell me it was okay to stay in our current house.  It wasn't a bad house.  She asked me why I wanted to move.  What did I used to love about this house that I had fallen out of love with?

When trying to explain to my realtor my feelings, I had to remember how I felt 4 or so years ago about this house.  I told her that when we first moved to Georgia, we got a really good house.  It was a good house with a great backyard.  But, it was too small for us, it just about every way.  But, still, it was a good house.  Then, we moved to our current house, which was a much better house.  So much space and trees.  (I really love trees).  Better.  But, I have never loved this house.  There were things that I loved (the trees, the porch swing, that there are kids bedrooms near the master, the master on the main level)  But, if I am honest, Rainman and half of the kids had to talk me into this house.  I didn't want this house.  He even did one of his charts showing me the logic of this house. But, I never loved this house.  I didn't hate it.  I saw the definite advantages to this house for a family of our size, but I didn't love it.  I  gave in because they were right, it was definitely a better house for us.

I continued to explain to her that I loved this new house.  I really did.  It felt so much like Minnesota.  The lay out.  The space. The privacy.  I feel like God had closed the door on the lake house, but opened the window on this new house because it was so much more than what I thought I wanted or could have.  Now, looking back, I am kind of embarrassed that I wanted the lake house so badly.  Because even though I really liked the "feel" of the lake house, it had quirks and things that I didn't love and that I knew would need to be changed.  This new house has none of those quirky things.  It is almost a perfect fit.  Does that make sense?

Good.  Better.  Best.

We made an offer that was accepted, and now, we have a pending contract on that house, but still sit here waiting for the right family to want ours.  We have been on the market for about 110 days now.  

It is a frustrating process.  We are not a starter home, which seem to be flying off the market, so there are less people that can afford our house.  We even tried to do a rental/lease purchase, but the first few people who were interested, were scam artists.  I won't go into those details, but it really shakes your view of mankind knowing that these kinds of purposefully deceitful people are out there and out there teaching their children to lie to get what they want.

So, we wait.  Life is still busy.  Kids are still in activities, getting awards, getting jobs.  

But, I honestly feel like my life, in the middle of the swirl, is.....paused.

I don't want to start any projects......because.....what if........

I was even at the point where I didn't even want to take baths, because then I would have to deep clean my tub again.  LOL  I just wanted it to remain pristine for that ever elusive buyer.  Alas, I have given that up and am enjoying my baths again.  I will cross the tub cleaning mountain when I need to.

I don't want the kids to do many crafts or art projects.....because it will make a mess....and what if somebody wants a showing.

Half of our things are already packed.  We don't know where lots of our stuff is because it was packed away months ago thinking that we would be moved by now.  People are starting to get annoyed, with things not being where they "should" be and having to dig through boxes in the basement to try to find them, and with having to keep the house clean(just in case).  In response to my requests for them to get their rooms "show ready" before they leave the house, I get a maddening, "What's the point?"

It has been frustrating, for lack of a better word.  

And, I really do feel.....paused.  I don't even really know what to do about it.  Is this pause just part of life and that is okay?  Should I forge ahead and pretend that I am not waiting to move?  I don't really know how to do that though.  Because, if I do that, things will be messier  (and, of course, that is when someone will want to stop by for a quick showing!) and the brunt of the cleaning/picking up with inevitably fall on me.  That will make me cranky, to say the least.  

I actually told my realtor this last week that my faith is waivering.  I meant it.  It makes me sad.  But, it is what it is. (I also came to the realization that much of being a realtor has nothing to do with the business of selling houses, but, is, in fact, being a sort of psychologist/therapist and holding people's proverbial hands while they freak out on you every other day, right Angela?)

I really want the new house.  I really do.  I love it.  I can picture us there.  Both now and in the future, with grand babies, the future spouses, and when Rainman and I are old.  But, I also remind myself frequently that it is just a house.  Both our current house and the new house.  Just a house.  I can't pin all my happiness on where we live. That would be stupid and wrong.  What matters is that we are all together and healthy and happy.  I know that.  Yet.....I really want to live in that house and unpause our lives.  

I have rambled (whined) enough for today, I think.  I will fill you in on the other "changes" in a future post.