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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Finally Feeling Like a Grown Up

There are secrets amongst adult people that are not readily shared with others.  Like how much labor hurts.  Or that your feet get bigger after each baby.  Or that you will someday sprout weird, whisker-like hairs on your chin.  Or that marriage (even if you marry Mr. Right) is NOT like a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie....or  Julia Roberts/Richard Gere movie....or a Hallmark movie....or even a Lifetime movie.  Anyway, the secret I am talking about today is.....even if you are a grown up....most of the time you don't feel like one.  There.  The secret is out.

Most of the time, I do not feel like a grown up.  I have to remind myself when there is a scary noise downstairs....or a giant bug to be killed....or someone knocks on the door...that I am the grown up and I have to take care of it....unless Rainman is around and I can talk him into it.

That is why it strikes me as funny what the little things in life are that happen that actually make me feel like I am a grown up.  This.....is what made me feel like a grown up this week.


I will tell you why in a moment.  First, I have to tell you about my friend, Debby.  Debby was the very first friend I made when we moved to Georgia.  She attended the little country church that we started going to when we came.  She went out of her way to make me feel welcome.  She held V-girl during church (Rainman works a lot of Sundays) so I could sing in the choir without having to hold her.  She would call me during the week, just to say hi and check up on me.  Debby was busy.  She had a stressful full time job, a husband, kids and grandkids of her own....but she took me under her wing and helped me transition to a new life, without my family nearby, tolerable.

Things aligned in Debby's world and she was able to retire at the end of 2010.  We all rejoiced because her job had definitely been taking its toll on her.  I told her, and I assume everyone else in her life told her, to just relax for a while.  You know....wear your pajamas all day....go out to lunch with friends...just take it easy.  Is that what Debby has done?  Nope. She has begun cleaning out her closets. 

I have to admit that I sort of get it.  I am a little bit of the type that can't relax until "this, this and this are done".  So, I am assuming that this is something she has wanted to get to for a while and with all the other demands in her life, she just couldn't do it.

My kids have been on the receiving end of some of the treasures she has found in her closets....pencils, crayons, craft items/kits, a microwave sm'ore maker, etc.  Various things that she had used or had intended to use with her grandchildren, but now the grandkids are too old to take advantage of, or just wouldn't use them. Some of the things were leftovers from her annual "Camp Grandma" week that she holds every summer for her grandkids - despite their age.  Fun, right?  I want to go to Camp Grandma!

Anyway, last week, I was on the receiving end of one of her treasures.  She called and asked if I needed "flatware".  I said, well, yes, I could use some....because this is what mine looked like....



The dried up Cheerio and frosted flake have only been added for dramatic effect.  ;) See how they are mismatched?  This is actually missing some of my "flatware" that wasn't so flat and would topple out of the holder and make it really hard to stack anything in the little compartments.  It was cheap stuff that I had gotten at Target or Walmart that had big blue plastic handles. 

All the members of my family had our favorite fork...some were long....others like the short ones....some had three tines....others like ones with four tines....some felt heavier in our hands.  When it was your turn to set the dinner table you had to know everyone's preference or be prepared for musical silverware as everyone sat down before prayer time. 

Anyway, I said, yes, I could use some "flatware".  She told me that she had found some she had packed away in her closet and assured me that she would not need it, nor would her children.  I had a doctor's appointment near her house and made arrangements for me to swing by and pick up the art supplies for the kids she had found and my "flatware".

Here is what she gave me....



The picture doesn't really do it justice.  It is beautiful.  It is not too heavy, not too light....as Goldilocks says.....It is just right!  She also gave me the wooden silverware holder thingie. 

Everything matches.  Everything.  And there are lots of specialty items, salad tongs, serving spoons - both slotted and regular. There is a pie server...



And, since we are in the South....iced tea spoons....

I have pictured one here above a normal teaspoon for you Northern folk (like me) who may not have ever seen such a thing!

I get a little thrill every time I open my silverware drawer and see them. 

Really, I do. 

I am a bit surprised still when I open the drawer and see it and not the jumbled heap of stuff I used to have in the Rubbermaid holder. 

I feel so very grown up.  It is kind of sad isn't it?  Sas, but funny.  This is definitely a little secret that went unshared by adults in my life....that things like getting "new to me" silverware would make me feel like I had finally arrived....probably more so than my first drink at 21, getting my first real job, getting married even.... 

I have silverware that matches!

So, my wonderful friend, Debby, who took me under your wing here in Georgia, you, my dear, have also made me feel like a grown up!  Thank you!

6 comments:

Jill said...

Wow Kayla, I thought I was the ONLY grown up that doesn't feel like a grown up. Thanks for letting the secret out of the bag. I don't feel so alone anymore.

How wonderful of Debbie! She sounds like a true gem and she has found a gem in you. Enjoy that beautiful flatware!

Karen's Ideas Galore said...

I want a Debby! Now the real question...what did you do with your old stuff?

Kandi said...

Hmmm, those iced tea spoons look like what we Northerners call "Malted Milk" spoons!!! ;) Beautiful flatware! And we've talked before about not feeling like a grown up...sometimes I feel like I'm just playing "house" and on the inside I'm actually 12 years old! :)

Kayla said...

I am giving my old stuff to charity....so my stuff can be "new" to someone else!!! Not nearly as exciting as MY new to me stuff, but it is a start!

I feel like I am finding all kinds of things out lately - other moms give their kids cold cereal for breakfast and no one ever really feels like they are a grown up!

Who knew?!?!

Amanda said...

My friend Christy follows you, so that's how I got here. I love your blog. I'm also from MN so I feel a bond to you!

Feel free to stop by my place
http://fondofthesilliness.blogspot.com/

Sandra said...

So glad to hear someone else talk about NOT feeling like a grownup!! Not sure I WANT to feel like a grownup all the time either! :0)