I Need a Wife.

Recently, my Mother-in-Law came for a visit. 

I love my MIL.  I really do.  We never fight.  I only occasionally mumble things under my breath when she is around.  She loves my kids and doesn't seem to get overwhelmed by them as others are prone to....could be because she raised 7 kids and the last 2 were twins!

The things is, my MIL is in her early 80's and really hasn't slowed down much.  I think she finally stopped sitting on the floor to play games with my kids about a year ago.  Too hard to get back up.  I have that problem and I am half her age!  Anyway, it has become a joke, with the kids and I, before she comes, we have to have a "Grandma Ready" house.  What does that mean?

It means that the house is really clean...in addition to the normal sweeping, vacuuming, dusting stuff, there is nothing shoved under beds and hidden behind the doors....cupboards are wiped down....baseboards are wiped down.  Our goal is for Grandma not to have to do any cleaning when she is here.  If we didn't - that is really all she would do...."Just let me get down on my hands and knees and get those baseboards shining."  "I will sit down and relax after I Windex your T.V. screen."  "I just want to get that hardened crusty spaghetti sauce off the roof of your microwave."  All the motivation that the kids need is to remember that if there is something to be cleaned, Grandma will postpone playing games or reading the book until it is done.

I think you get the idea.  She wants to be helpful.  We want her to relax and have a leisurely visit.

On this last trip, she decided to cook and made some Polish/Slovak specialties for Rainman.  She made Halupky or Galumpky - depending on whether you are Polish or Slovak...and she made some noodles and dumplings.  My job was relegated to showing her where ingredients were located and sitting and visiting with her while she rolled the cabbage.

I cooked a few meals while she was here too, but it was so nice to have a break from being responsible for the meal....AND then to have a meal that wasn't frozen pizza or mac and cheese....it was a real, nummy, meal and I didn't have to make it.

As I mentioned already, my MIL hasn't really slowed down....which means she has a hard time sitting still.  So, even if the house is "Grandma Ready" and we are sitting down watching a show, when a commercial comes around, she takes a look around and finds something to get up and do - like pick up the dirty socks that have materialized on the living room floor....or toss the rogue Legos back into their bucket....or put the books back on the bookshelf.

It is actually a marvelous idea - but I never think of it.  If I am finally sitting down on the couch to enjoy watching Parenthood or The Middle or something....I am down for the count.  Lots of times, I even have the kids bring me my snack! 

I know!  Right?

But, you know what I noticed when she was here?  Everything stayed picked up.  It did not stay spotless.  She didn't have to "clean" anything, but, when we went up for the night, there weren't 10 billion little things laying on the floor that would be the first thing I would see as a descended the stairs in the morning.  The counters and table were wiped down -after meals AND after snack time.  The floor was swept more than once a day (which it really, really needs).

It got me to thinking. 

Boy, it sure would be nice to have a wife. 

Aren't we a cute couple?

Not that I want one of those Sister Wives situations, because I REALLY don't want to share Rainman - but, I can see the beauty in some of the day to day stuff....the cooking of "real" meals, just keeping things picked up, having someone to chat with while the cabbage is rolled, someone else to change the next stinky diaper....aahhh....yes....I can see the possibilities....

My Little Girl is Growing Up

My oldest daughter will be 11 next month.  She has been asking for things that most girls her age ask for off and on for a while now....cell phone, pierced ears, to be allowed to wear make-up, to be allowed to wear high heels.  I have successfully held her off, but recently succumbed to one thing.  Her ears.

She has been asking me since she was little when she could get them pierced.  According to her, way back then, I told her 10, then when 10 got here, I told her 11.  I had plans to tell her 12 when her 11th birthday rolled around.  But a visiting grandmother messed that plan up! 

Grandma arrived with her usual fanfare of her carry on luggage stuffed with goodies for the kids - from packages of gum, to Suduku books, to the free stuff she and her lady friends win at their meetings (I honestly have no idea what these "meetings" are - but, whatever they don't need, they send for the kids).  This trip one of the free items from their meetings was a necklace and earrings that she gave A-girl.  As she was getting settled in, she told my 3 girls who have April birthdays, that she would like to take them shopping and pick out their birthday presents while she was here....and, then, she told A-girl she would pay to get her ears pierced.

What?  No discussion with the mommy of those cute, perfect little ears?

Nope.  The damage was done.

There would be no speech about waiting just one more year.  Grandma had made it a reality.

I got my ears pierced when I was 11 - but somehow when it is your child - 11 feels totally different.

We ended up going to a strip mall that had a Claire's.  I told the lady what we were there for and she proceeded to hand me a stack of paperwork to sign and initial - basically that I wasn't going to sue them or anything. 

Okay.  That is comforting.

First I told her that I needed to get a "before" shot and then I announced that I was also going to get "action" shots and then an "after" shot. 

Before shot.

Aren't her ears just perfect and wonderful just the way they are...I mean were?

That is the clerk behind A-girl.

As we were walking in, A-girl admits that she is nervous and asks if I will hold her hand. 

Are you kidding me?  Of course I will!

So, I finished my stack of paperwork and hand it to the clerk - who, while I had been initialing and signing, had cleaned her ears and made little dots on them.

In my head, I had a real mother/daughter event planned.  A rite of passage to womanhood.  I would hold her hands and comfort her, she would feel better because I was there, we would look deeply into each others eyes, we would remember this moment for all time, because I would have time to get pictures of all of this.....but instead.....

I got this rushed picture of....her second ear being pierced!  It was all so fast. 

I never got to hold her hand. 

We didn't look deeply into each other's eyes.

I barely got this picture.

It was really as fast as a blink of an eye - or in this case, a piercing of an ear - I handed over my paperwork, looked down to get my camera from A-girl's lap to get ready for our big moment together and I looked up to see this!

The lighting is bad...oh, and that is our van just outside the window! 

Notice that A-girl's face looks kind of shocked too.

It happened so fast that Grandma, who was paying for this momentous event was off looking at earrings and didn't even know it had happened either!

I don't remember how much my ear piercing cost.  I remember the sound of the gun next to my first ear scared me though.  The guns are much different now and don't make any noise.  You get a choice of about 30 earrings you can put in - for a price.  I am pretty sure my choices were silver little ball thingie or gold little ball thingie.  The cheapest ones were around $17.00 which is what we went with.  The most expensive were about $42.00.

I have decided that perhaps for the next three daughter's piercings I will either go someplace else or I will make sure I do not go at a busy time of day.  The clerk was the only one working, so while she was piercing, she also seemed to be looking over her shoulder for shoplifters the whole time and would every now and then yell out, "I will be right there!"

I hope this is not the first of many disappointments in mother/daughter event times that I have painted in my head!

She does look beautiful though, doesn't she?

Technology

I am getting old...not a grandmother...yet....but I am getting old.  So technology is starting to make me nervous.  I don't understand BluRay and how it makes you look like you could reach out and touch Buzz and Woody.  Even if we had a Wii, I am not sure I would want to be able to download movies instantly and watch them....well, I guess I would like it - but then it makes me feel like someone could be watching me all the time through my Wii.  Know what I mean?  I can text, I am just not too fast at it, I don't really like it...AND....I spell all the words the right way.  I still like to hold actually paper books and not curl up with my Kindle to read. 

I think you get my idea. 

I like technology, but I am kind of late to the table on the new, exciting stuff.

I am happy to say that the "new" technology I love is the web cam!

For those of you who are new here, or aren't related to me, we got transferred to Georgia about 18 months ago, after spending a lifetime in Minnesota.  And most of that time was spent within about 20 minutes of the grandparents farm, just like almost all of my cousins.  Moving was traumatic for me.  My sixth child was just 2 weeks old when we left.  My sisters Kandi and Karen were my best friends. 

Fast forward 18 months and I am loving Georgia.  The only bad part really is missing the people I love from Minnesota....like my sisters.

One of the things that my sisters and I started about 6 or 7 years ago, was getting together for an Oscar party.  We would eat, talk about what everyone was wearing, mute the speeches so we could talk some more, eat some more, etc.  We even have a traveling trophy for who picks the most winners!

 
The last few years, my sister, Karen has been hosting.  She is the one with all the ideas.  So as the years have gone on, our event has gotten more organized and fancy.  Although we still wore our sweats! She creates swag bags for us and we have elaborate dinners, snacks and drinks served by her husband and sons.

In theory, we thought that I would just fly up and join them every year for our annual party.  But it didn't work last year....or this year.  Last year I snuck down to the basement and called them and we stayed on the phone for the entire telecast.  I couldn't hear very well.  They would laugh and I had no idea what they were laughing about.  My brother-in-law served them a wonderful dinner while I had my popcorn and Reese's peanut butter cups.  I ended the night feeling sad....although I did win the traveling trophy!

Fast forward to this year, I had tried to figure out a way to get myself up there...without kids....with just a few kids....with the "baby" who refuses to stop nursing....rental car....where to stay....it just got complicated in a real hurry, so we all just decided that this just wasn't the year for us to be together yet.

Late last week, my friend, Debbie and I were heading to the Farmer's Market and she asked me if I had a web cam.  I said that none of my computers were new enough to have one built it and I didn't have a free standing one either, but that one day I would like one.  I explained to her how people had been telling me since we moved that I should get one so we can stay in touch with people in Minnesota easier.  My old boss kept in touch with her daughter's family when they moved to Miami this way.  They had a weekly chat, so they got to see all the missing teeth and school projects.  Sounded great, but we were on a budget, so I didn't even check into them.

Debbie said that she thought that she had one just sitting around because she had recently upgraded her computers and they all had built in ones now.  She drove over to my house special on Friday to hand me the web cam so I would have time to play around with it in the hopes of getting it up and running by Oscar time!  Have I mentioned how much I love my friend, Debbie?  Not because she gives me stuff....but because she thinks about me.

So, this is a long story to tell you all about how my sisters and I watched the Oscars together via Skype.  I heart Skype!  We had to switch the venue to Kandi's house to use her laptop webcam....so, as a bonus, I got to see my two nieces up close and personal!  Karen had sent me my swag bag earlier....so I had that with me...

Click here for Karen's GREAT sugar scrub recipe.

My kids wanted to get in on the trophy action too....so they filled out their ballots and made their own traveling trophy...

A Barbie mummified in tin foil!

We did not have the best of internet connections and I still couldn't hear every snarky comment that was made - but it was ALMOST like being there.  I had a great time.  I love them.  I love that I got to see my nieces dancing around and waving in my computer screen....even if they were just waving at themselves on their side!!!

So, I guess this old fogey is coming around....maybe I will go out and buy one of them new fangled Sony Walkmans....oh, too late, huh?  How about and Ipod then....am I too late for that craze?!?!?