We are still here.
On Monday, we thought we had 2 offers coming in. We were jubilant. We were relieved.
Now, it is Friday and we have had no offers. Still waiting to hear back from one buyer who is mulling over our unofficial counter offer (which really was a horrible counter offer from us - because we still lose money...but it was better than their unofficial lowball offer). The other buyer says that they are still interested but wanted to run things by their lender - who is on vacation until tomorrow, apparently.
Then we had a showing scheduled for yesterday, by an out of town buyer....in town for one day to look at 11 houses. We were 11th on the list. I was sort of excited because I thought we would make a great finish to their day....and maybe....just maybe, we would have an offer put in front of us before they headed back out of town. That is how we did it when we moved here....we flew in, looked at houses and then filled out paperwork for make an offer on our way to the airport again that afternoon.
But, of course, the showing yesterday never came. They never called. They never contacted us. My poor kids had cereal for dinner because I didn't want to make a mess of the kitchen, because I was sure that they would be calling at any minute telling me they were on their way.
I was scolded earlier this week by a real estate agent for only offering a 2% commision to the buyer's agents. She was sure that is why my home hasn't sold, because agents are steering people away from my house. I don't think that is true since we are at about 40 showings for our house. But, she made me mad.
I know I am supposed to remove my emotional involvement and think of this as a business deal....but, I am so hoping that someone else comes in and buys the house so she cannot get the $4,000+ in commission she will be paid if her buyer takes the house. Does that make me a bad Christian?
I have been pretty upset about all of this and questioning our decision to even put the house on the market. Rainman and I have prayed every step of the way through this process....and, this week, I have been questioning whether we really heard God's prompting and guidance in all of this....or if we just pushed through our own agenda....and, I was making myself sick with worry. I am really not normally a worrier...that is my Mom's job! But, I was even having chest pain/tightening and couldn't seem to turn off my mind and its whirling thoughts of what do to.
I was praying as I unloaded the dishwasher yesterday and was sort of whining and crying out to God...."I wish you would just tell me something! I wish I knew if we were wrong to start this process! What are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to take a loss on this house? Then we won't have any money for the downpayment on the other house and will have to borrow the whole amount, plus enough to pay off our existing loan! What are we supposed to do?"
You get the idea. I was whining.
This is where I used to rely on my Dad. If I felt like we needed clarification on something. I would call my Dad. He would pray about it. Sometimes he didn't get any clear message from God to pass along to us, but, many times he would. He would, I think, remove himself as my father and just sort of pass along the note from God for us.....because just couldn't seem to hear Him ourselves.
But, Dad has been gone almost 2 years now.
So, as I was stacking dishes in the cupboard and scraping the crunchy gunk that always seems to be on the bottom on our cups off, I clearly heard God say, "Ask Brian."
Brian, is a friend of mine from high school, that now owns an engineering firm in northern Minnesota, is heavily involved with local youth, and is a fabulous nature photographer via Chasing the Wind Photography.
Here is what part of his "mission statement" for Chasing the Wind Photography....
.....It is amazing how many of us spend the majority of our lives searching for the very love and happiness that God gives us freely. A simple gift from him to each one of us.
I left a chunk of his biography/about us page out....so, feel free to go read it in its entirety (by the way, all proceeds from his photos go to fund wilderness trips for youth)
Brian and I were probably more acquaintances in high school and just sort of traveled in similar circles. But, we have come to know each other better via FB. Anyway, I thought it was a strange thing....but, I was absolutely, 100% certain that I heard God prompting me to "Ask Brian".
So, I did. I started out my message on FB with...."This is going to sound strange, but....." I briefly explained the situation and asked him to pray and see if he got any secret messages from God for Rainman and I.
Here was his response:
God is so amazing. I prayed and 2 things came to me almost immediately. I will continue to pray but will share what I believe that I was lead to share. -Glorify him in all that we do. Are your decisions going to glorify God or you? This seems to be harder for men I think but its what I heard. -Do not worry. He loves you more than you can imagine and will take care of you and your family. You just need to trust that he hears your prayers and doesn't want you to worry. Trust that he will lead the way. Just give it to him. He blessed you with some wonderful children and that's where your energy and emotion should be rather than things which are out of your control. That's it. I will add this. His timing is often different than mine. The verse "be patient and wait on the lord" rings in my ears a lot. Smile! God will take care of it!
I thanked him and sent a message back that said something about how I think a lot of my worrying (in addition to the financial piece) was for the people we were buying the house from, because they want to be in their new school district when school starts...which, here in Georgia is the first week of August. I didn't want our situation to put their lives on hold. I told him that I was just going to meditate on how much God loves me and making the human nature part of me just leave it alone....and really just trust in God.
I struggle with that same thing many days! then I close my eyes, listen to the birds or wind and know that he is here with me, and it is going to be OK.
So, if you need me, I am going to be outside, with my eyes closed.....listening to the birds and wind and knowing that He is God...and He has got my back.
All pictures (except my house) are courtesy of Brian Grund and Chasing the Wind Photography, Bemidji, MN.