Dream Analysis

Any of you guys do any dream analysis?  Have a book that explains them?

I had a weird one last night, but I have a few recurring ones that I would love somebody to tell me what they mean!  My most frequent one isn't being naked, or even showing up for a class I have never been in just in time for the final exam.  Nope.  None of those standard ones.

Mine is that my teeth are crumbling and falling out.  Anyone?

Last night's dream was strange in that the location changed a few times, from scene to scene.  I was at my current home in some and at my childhood home in others.  It started with A-man playing with a ceramic camel and chipping his tooth.  I was upset, so I went up to my room crying that my baby had chipped his perfect little face.  Rainman was there too and was trying to calm me down and say that having a chipped front tooth hadn't hurt his chances with the ladies - i.e. me.

Again - weirdness - because I went "up" to my room to throw myself on my pillow and cry.  But, at this house, my room is not "up".  However, my childhood bedroom is up.  The 3 littles followed me to the bedroom and were trying to comfort me.  A-man was just so sad that I was crying....that he had made me cry.   All of a sudden,  we heard a really loud voice from downstairs.  It was one of those times where I shushed everyone and tried eavesdropping from the crack of my bedroom door.....because I knew something wasn't right.  I didn't recognize the voice, but they were asking for help moving something.

Weird thing coming:  Somehow Rainman was no longer the man downstairs at the house, it was my dad.  My dad who has been gone for 4 years now.  Somehow, he  was still alive in my dream.....and it was current time, because the kids were the same ages they are now.  But, in my dream, Rainman just morphed into my dad and I didn't think it was anything strange in my dream.

I heard Dad tell then he would help but that he had to get dressed.  He came upstairs, I told the kids to stay put and be quiet and I snuck into his bedroom to see what was going on.  He said he didn't want them to know there was anybody else here, so we needed to be quiet.  He said he was going to try to help them - but he didn't think they really needed help.  But, wanted them away from the house, so we could call for help.  There was a whispered 911 call and even a red car filled with hit men heading up to our shed (childhood home).  But, then at one point the kids and I had snuck down to the basement and were planning to either hide out or sneak to the neighbors house via our shop door.  (current home).

I won't go into much more detail - because I am still trying to take A-girl's advice and keep it short - plus, I have no pictures of my dreams to break up my boring monologue. I will just put in this artsy picture taken by D-man.  It is sort of dream like, isn't it?

But, it was weird because as things kept unfolding, in some scenes, I was peering out of my childhood bedroom window and sometimes I was looking out my living room window at my own house.   I don't know where my mom or Rainman were in my dream.

It was just weird and I woke up with my heart pounding.  And then, had that truly sad realization that my Dad is gone and wasn't still with us.

Maybe I was thinking about dads because this week is always a hard one for Rainman.  His dad's birthday was a few days ago (he would have been 94) and the anniversary of his passing would have been today.

I never met his dad, but I remember the day/date he passed because Rainman and I have a sort of joke that we were both crying on October 3, 1992.

Want to know why I was crying on that day?

That was the day I married  my first husband.  And, yes, I really did cry that day - because, deep down, I knew I was making a big mistake, but I didn't know how to turn back and do the hard thing of calling it off.  So, I told myself everything would be better after the craziness of the wedding was over.  Oh, silly, naive little me.

Anyway, my point is that maybe I was thinking about Rainman's dad, which morphed my subconscious into thinking about my own dad and his protecting me/us....even when it was scary and hard.  I don't know.  I just miss him still.  It is the worst feeling when you wake up and have to remember that they are gone.

So, really.  Anybody actually know anything about dream analysis?

 I am really interested in the whole teeth crumbling and falling out thing!  Really.

Still Here

Yup.

We are still here.

On Monday, we thought we had 2 offers coming in.  We were jubilant.  We were relieved.

Now, it is Friday and we have had no offers.  Still waiting to hear back from one buyer who is mulling over our unofficial counter offer (which really was a horrible counter offer from us - because we still lose money...but it was better than their unofficial lowball offer).  The other buyer says that they are still interested but wanted to run things by their lender - who is on vacation until tomorrow, apparently.

Then we had a showing scheduled for yesterday, by an out of town buyer....in town for one day to look at 11 houses.  We were 11th on the list.  I was sort of excited because I thought we would make a great finish to their day....and maybe....just maybe, we would have an offer put in front of us before they headed back out of town.  That is how we did it when we moved here....we flew in, looked at houses and then filled out paperwork for make an offer on our way to the airport again that afternoon.

But, of course, the showing yesterday never came.  They never called.  They never contacted us.  My poor kids had cereal for dinner because I didn't want to make a mess of the kitchen, because I was sure that they would be calling at any minute telling me they were on their way.

I was scolded earlier this week by a real estate agent for only offering a 2% commision to the buyer's agents.  She was sure that is why my home hasn't sold, because agents are steering people away from my house.  I don't think that is true since we are at about 40 showings for our house.  But, she made me mad. 

I know I am supposed to remove my emotional involvement and think of this as a business deal....but, I am so hoping that someone else comes in and buys the house so she cannot get the $4,000+ in commission she will be paid if her buyer takes the house.  Does that make me a bad Christian?

I have been pretty upset about all of this and questioning our decision to even put the house on the market.  Rainman and I have prayed every step of the way through this process....and, this week, I have been questioning whether we really heard God's prompting and guidance in all of this....or if we just pushed through our own agenda....and, I was making myself sick with worry.  I am really not normally a worrier...that is my Mom's job!  But, I was even having chest pain/tightening and couldn't seem to turn off my mind and its whirling thoughts of what do to.

I was praying as I unloaded the dishwasher yesterday and was sort of whining and crying out to God...."I wish you would just tell me something!  I wish I knew if we were wrong to start this process!  What are we supposed to do?  Are we supposed to take a loss on this house?  Then we won't have any money for the downpayment on the other house and will have to borrow the whole amount, plus enough to pay off our existing loan!  What are we supposed to do?"

You get the idea.  I was whining.

This is where I used to rely on my Dad.  If I felt like we needed clarification on something.  I would call my Dad.  He would pray about it.  Sometimes he didn't get any clear message from God to pass along to us, but, many times he would.  He would, I think, remove himself as my father and just sort of pass along the note from God for us.....because just couldn't seem to hear Him ourselves.

But, Dad has been gone almost 2 years now.

So, as I was stacking dishes in the cupboard and scraping the crunchy gunk that always seems to be on the bottom on our cups off, I clearly heard God say, "Ask Brian."

Brian, is a friend of mine from high school, that now owns an engineering firm in northern Minnesota, is heavily involved with local youth, and is a fabulous nature photographer via Chasing the Wind Photography.



Here is what part of his "mission statement" for Chasing the Wind Photography....

All too often we find ourselves searching for something or someone that will bring "true happiness" to our lives. Have you ever said, "I just want to be happy"? We are so busy trying to fill ourselves with "stuff" that we think will make us happy, only to be disappointed. How many of those people around you seem to be trying to fill themselves up with something that they think will make them happy? Maybe it's a new boy or girlfriend, maybe a new car, a new house, a different job, or more money? Maybe it's not possessions at all. Maybe it's drugs or alcohol? Perhaps it's something that looks much better, such as helping others? Yes, we can even try to fill ourselves up by trying to get others to praise our efforts. Different things for each one of us I suppose. We are all searching for something. Quite often the "something" changes as we grow older. The happiness that a new bicycle brings at age 7, can't be purchased so cheaply when you're 37. We get so wrapped up in our search for happiness and the cluttered nature of our daily lives, that we often forget to slow down and enjoy the simple gifts that surround us.

Clutter in our lives isn't a new concept. Even King Solomon, one of the richest and wisest men of his time, concluded, in his late years, that "Everything is meaningless, like chasing after the wind" (Ecc. 1:14 NIV)......

.....It is amazing how many of us spend the majority of our lives searching for the very love and happiness that God gives us freely. A simple gift from him to each one of us.
I left a chunk of his biography/about us page out....so, feel free to go read it in its entirety (by the way, all proceeds from his photos go to fund wilderness trips for youth)





Brian and I were probably more acquaintances in high school and just sort of traveled in similar circles.  But, we have come to know each other better via FB.  Anyway, I thought it was a strange thing....but, I was absolutely, 100% certain that I heard God prompting me to "Ask Brian".

So, I did.  I started out my message on FB with...."This is going to sound strange, but....." I briefly explained the situation and asked him to pray and see if he got any secret messages from God for Rainman and I.

Here was his response:

God is so amazing. I prayed and 2 things came to me almost immediately. I will continue to pray but will share what I believe that I was lead to share. -Glorify him in all that we do. Are your decisions going to glorify God or you? This seems to be harder for men I think but its what I heard. -Do not worry. He loves you more than you can imagine and will take care of you and your family. You just need to trust that he hears your prayers and doesn't want you to worry. Trust that he will lead the way. Just give it to him. He blessed you with some wonderful children and that's where your energy and emotion should be rather than things which are out of your control. That's it. I will add this. His timing is often different than mine. The verse "be patient and wait on the lord" rings in my ears a lot. Smile! God will take care of it!

I thanked him and sent a message back that said something about how I think a lot of my worrying (in addition to the financial piece) was for the people we were buying the house from, because they want to be in their new school district when school starts...which, here in Georgia is the first week of August.  I didn't want our situation to put their lives on hold. I told him that I was just going to meditate on how much God loves me and making the human nature part of me just leave it alone....and really just trust in God.

His response:

 I struggle with that same thing many days! then I close my eyes, listen to the birds or wind and know that he is here with me, and it is going to be OK.

So, if you need me, I am going to be outside, with my eyes closed.....listening to the birds and wind and knowing that He is God...and He has got my back.

All pictures (except my house) are courtesy of Brian Grund and Chasing the Wind Photography, Bemidji, MN.

Papa's Pearls

This is a review of a book by Diane Flynn Keith, called Papa's Pearls.




This is a wonderful, little gem of a book.

The subtitle is - A Father's Gift of Love and Wisdom to His Children and Grandchildren.



What I took away from this book is that we should all write one of these books about our parents.

I am fairly sure that Diane's "Papa" didn't know he was giving her the inspiration or catch phrases for a book she would one day write about him.  He was just being himself.  He was just sharing what he truly believed. 

This book is really sort of a love letter from Diane to her dad....her Papa.

But, I know if that is what I say it is, I will be limiting the people that continue reading this review...and also those that would consider purchasing the book to read it.  And, if I did that, it would be a shame.

Because......this book is inspirational.  It is thought inducing.  It made me want to be a better mom.  It made me want to be awakened every morning with a backrub.  (Read the book and you will get that last one....because, seriously....that is how I want to be woken up!)

Papa's Pearls gave me ideas of ways to handle things with the kids....and sometimes, even confirmed that somethings I am already doing or saying were good things.

In many ways, Papa reminded me of my dad.  That sort of no nonsense, do what needs to be done, kind of true man.

Papa would say to his children, "You know that I love you, right?"

I feel like I could turn this review into a long list of quotes from Papa.  Some really are just common sense, but since there doesn't seem to be a lot of that in the world anymore....somehow the sentiments seem more earth shattering than they should.

But, I don't want to give you the quotes without giving you Diane's stories behind them.  They make them real.  They make them personal.  They usually awakened a story or two in me of something my mom or dad did. 

But, most of all, it inspired me to make sure that my kids know I love them, that I have their back, and, that sometimes it is okay to walk away from things.

I actually used Papa's "You know I love you, right?" phrase recently after A-girl and I had a disagreement about some clothing choices she wanted to make.  She was not happy with me.  She really didn't agree with what I said, and sort of huffed out of the room angry with me.  When she got to the door, I stopped her and said, "You know I love you, right?"  She said a sort of mumbled, "Yeah".  But, she got it.  Papa helped remind me how important those words are...especially when you get into tense situations with your kids.

Portions of this book really did remind me of my dad.  My dad always talked about "trigger words" and the power of words.  He always encouraged us to speak positive things about ourselves and our situation (even if that wasn't necessarily what we were feeling at the time).  He said the positive words would sort of become a self-fulfilling prophecy for us.

Papa was like that too.  He was "fantastic".....even when maybe he wasn't.

He would just "Doodle-lee do it!"

I highly, highly, highly recommend this book.  I really sort of recommend it for anyone - whether you are raising kids now and need some ideas.  Whether you have already raised your kids and want to walk down memory lane a bit - or even get some ideas on parenting your grown children....or ideas on grandparenting.  Or even if you don't even have kids yet....that might be the best audience yet to be inspired by Papa. 

Or maybe reading this book will inspire you to write down some stories from someone in your family to pass along their wisdom to another generation!

It really is a great book.  It is only about 100 pages of easy reading stories about Papa, his choices and life lessons about parenthood and even being a good spouse. 

You can get a copy directly from the author (autographed) for $21.97 - which includes shipping and handling, or, you can get it through Amazon for a little less.

Diane Flynn Keith has other websites that you may want to check out, in addition to Papa's Pearls.  Here are a few of my favorites:

Carschooling.com - is just what it sounds like.
Homefires.com - Check out her article entitled "Yes, My Grown Homeschooled Children Are Odd - And Yours Will be Too"  I especially like this thought from that article - Speaking about homeschooled children......They haven't been conditioned to be passive and compliant or dependent on others to tell them what to do or how to spend their time. They are not powerless. They have the choice to remove themselves from bad situations or people and change the curriculum when it's not relevant, interesting, useful, or meaningful.

Take a look at what the other TOS Reviewers thought about Papa's Pearls.

That's Life

My friend, Sherri, just e-mailed me this excerpt from a Paul Harvey broadcast.  I loved so much of it and it sums up what Rainman and I are trying to do as parents, that I decided I had to share it.  You have maybe read this before....but I think it is worth another look.

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.. I really would.


I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.


I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

  

hen you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
 
 
  I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. 

 
   When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.


I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.



May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.



I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he/she is not your friend.


I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.



May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.


I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.


Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you. 

 

Wasn't that awesome?  My kids know all about sharing rooms and hand me downs. 

 

I shared a room for most of my childhood and yes, Karen even had a line through the center of our room that I was NOT to cross....although, if I was scared, she would let me come visit her side (and I was a bedwetter!)  When I shared with Kandi, she kept me awake many nights with her crying even when I had school the next day....but I turned out okay....and now I know a lot about taking care of babies.

 

My Dad wasn't big on "baby proofing" homes.  His motto was something like "Let them try it once....they won't do it again."  And, it worked.  So, yes, I think we all burned ourselves on something or other through the years....but we learned.  (We heated our house with a wood stove.)  Ask Karen to tell you about the time she tried to iron the wrinkles out of her hand.

 

I know what Dove soap tastes like....it is a taste that lingers.  So, when I would have those thoughts about sassing or talking disrespectfully to Mom....I would just remember that taste that got stuck in the nooks and crannies of my teeth.  Hard to forget!

 

My childhood was filled with making mud pies out of driveway....I am sure my Dad didn't appreciate the ruts that my culinary creations made when he came home from work.  But, I had fun.  I also read all the time.  Oh, I watched T.V. on our 4 stations too.....but I always had a book nearby.

 

We did not bring our car to the car wash....ever.  Mom and Dad would just drive our car onto the front lawn and set us kids loose.  The only thing I remember not loving was when Dad decided it needed a coat of Turtle Wax....not nearly as fun as the squirting part.

 

I have never had black eye for fighting for something I believe in. Not sure if I want to remedy that...but I could learn to fight more.

 

I am also still working on adding and subtracting in my head (might be too late for that one, huh?)

 

But, above all.....I appreciate this wonderful life that God has blessed me with.

 

I will close with a Paul Harvey riddle.

 

What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?
Nothing.

 

Amen and Amen! (That was for you, Dad)

 

 

 

 

Ups and Downs of December

We have had some ups and downs around here in December. 

My mom has developed heart problems since my Dad has passed.  She has had two surgeries in December getting them fixed.  I was able to fly up to be with her for the first one, but the second one was scheduled too quickly for me to be able to make it.

I was feeling down and a bit nervous about not being there with her, so, some good friends came over to help cheer us up and distract me.  They brought a few Christmas gifts with them.

The gift they got for A-girl, I had already gotten for her....but they didn't know that.  So, when A-girl opened it and was over the moon excited about it....I, of course, burst into tears....right there....in front of everyone.

I am a Minnesota girl.  Good, solid, sturdy stock.  Scandinavian blood flows through my veins.  We do not like to show people our emotions. We certainly do NOT like to cry in front of people.  Yet, there I was.....crying away.  My friend, felt horrible. 

Her daughter had picked out the gift AND spent her own money on it...knowing it was going to be the perfect gift.  It was.  I was happy for A-girl.  But, the selfish part of me wanted to be on the receiving end of all that joy over a well chosen gift.  You know?

I felt sorry for myself for two reasons....I didn't get that joy directed at me....and it meant I had to go shopping.  I hate shopping.  In fact, I did 99% of my shopping this year on-line.  That is definitely a Christmas tradition that will continue!

It all worked out fine in the end.  If I didn't know it already, I realized that we have great friends, who know us....and want to give us things that will, literally, make us jump with joy.  And, I ended up being  able to go shopping (without crowds or kids) to get her something else. (I hope she will love it just as much.)

What was the joy/tear inducing gift?

Voila!


A curling wand....have you heard of them?  They are actually pretty cool.  It really is just basically a hot....stick....or wand.  It comes with a glove you wear, so when you wrap your hair around and hold it there for a bit, you won't get burned.

Here is me after my curling wand makeover:

I think I am going to be "borrowing" her excellent Christmas present!  Thanks E. for being such a good friend to my girls.

Since I was feeling down, S-girl wanted to make me feel better, so she offered to paint my toenails.  She laid a napkin down on the floor and climbed under the kitchen table where I was teaching A-man.  She took her time and got my toes just right.....and I mean...she reeeaaaalllly took her time....

(Ignore that gook on the floor...I have since mopped)

I love them.  They make me happy.  Since I live in Georgia and it has been in the 60's and 70's, I have been wearing my sandals and showing off my pedicure.  In my head, I wonder if people notice them....and, if so, what they think.  But, everytime I look down at my toes, it makes me smile!

Onto more ups in our December....

My girls decided to host their own coffee clatch get together....with lots of cream and sugar....and Oreos.

We got V-girl to keep her hair in a ponytail for, oh......about 30 minutes....a new record.

(This looks like we pulled it a little too tight, doesn't it?)

Then later, she did this....

And even got her tongue....yuck!!!

We had breakfast for dinner.

And, thanks to my friend, Debbie, we got to go see a cool light display at the:

(They had the 12 days of Christmas....this is the ladies dancing)

We brought a thermos full of hot chocolate and some marshmallows...

We drove through a few neighborhoods on our way home looking at lights.  But, V-girl, every few minutes would announce, "I sad.  Lights done."  Apparently, none of the home displays held a candle to the ones at the Atlanta Motor Speedway!

Like I said, it has sort of been a hard month.  I am missing my Dad.  I want my Mom to be healthy and happy.  It is hard for me to be in Georgia and not in Minnesota with my family.  We have been thinking about trying to sell our house and move into something that would work better for our family, but the reality of the market is that our house is probably worth about 1/2 of what we paid for it two years ago.  Rainman is working all weekend, so our Christmas will be a quick lunch with him on Sunday before he heads to work.

Really though, overall, December has held mostly ups.  D-man turns 14 this month.  We get to celebrate Jesus's birth.  My kids are healthy, happy, and silly....that leads to a lot of "ups" for me.  Rainman is healthy and happy.  I am healthy, happy and a little crazy.....and my family loves me anyway.

I guess I don't have it so bad, do I?

My Dad....The Teacher

For as far back as I can remember, my Dad was always teaching.  Teaching our family....and anybody else who was interested in listening. 

Teaching people about God. Teaching people about the Bible.  Teaching people about the gift of salvation.  He started Bible study groups on his lunch hour at Honeywell.  He taught adult Sunday School classes in church.  He had family Bible study time after dinner.  He would invite Jehovah's Witnesses into the house to discuss the Bible.

I was so used to it, I didn't realize how special he was.   He dedicated much of his life to being open for opportunities to enlighten people about the beauty of what Jesus Christ did for us.

You may remember that my Dad passed away very quickly and unexpectedly a few months ago.  It was the day after his 78th birthday.  I had a great conversation with him on his birthday.  The next day was a Sunday and he was set to be a substitute preacher at my home church.

My brother, Kevin, after talking to Dad on his birthday, decided to come hear my Dad preach....since he hadn't heard him in a while.  My Dad was a great teacher....a bit long-winded for some....because he always backed everything up with scripture.  He would have you flipping back and forth all over your Bible....even if you just asked a "simple" question.  My mom would frequently remind him not to talk to long when he was teaching.  But, many times, he got so excited about what he was trying to get across to you....he couldn't stop himself.

Kevin, at the last minute, decided to grab his video camera and film my Dad.

My Dad passed away that afternoon.

My siblings and I also decided that we wanted to video tape my dad's service....partly because, at the time, everything was such a blur and we thought maybe someday when things weren't so raw, we would like to remember what was said....and who was there.

In case you are interested.....here is my Dad's last sermon on this earth.  I have not been able to watch it yet. 

His title for it was Healing Covenants.

The end of my Dad's sermon is in Part 2, below.  My brother also split my Dad's service into smaller parts....

This is me and my sisters, Karen and Kandi, singing one my Dad's favorite songs. He had actually told us for years that he wanted us to sing at his funeral....and what songs he wanted us to do.  (It starts at about 11:00 minutes) The end of this section is the start of my brother's sermon (at about 20:00 min)

This is end of Kevin preaching.... just like my Dad.  My sisters and I sing another of Dad's favorites at about 13:30 minutes in.

My sister, Kandi, and I were able to share a few memories of Dad.  They start at about 17:30 (above - Part 3)...and finish up in the last segment below (Part 4).

I would like to be able to end this post with something deep and profound....but I can't seem to come up with anything.....other than, I loved my Dad and really miss him.

I will end with what ended up being our verse/theme for Dad's service:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul,

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

For you are with me,

Your rod and your staff they comfort me

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies

You anoint my head with oils,

My cup overflows,

Surely goodness and love will follow me

All the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord.....forever.

Psalms 23

More About My Dad...

I have been thinking a lot about  my dad lately.  Mostly about he and my mom.  I told you they had been married over 51 years when he died and I showed you this wedding picture....

But, this is too formal of a shot to show you what they were really like....

My sister, Karen, is a long time scrapbooker and had a lot of beautiful scrapbooks that she had made on display at my Dad's visitation.  My sister, Kandi, sorted through the scrapbooks and her own vast amount of pictures that she had taken and put together display boards of some of our favorite pictures of Dad.

Even though I was very much still in a fog-like state that whole week, I had the presence of mind to take pictures of some of my favorites that my talented sisters had on display.

These pictures show what life with parents, who really loved each other, was like...

I didn't do a good job of getting this one captured on film....my flash reflected off my mom....but, that is them smooching....I think as newlyweds....or a newly engaged couple....

And, again....and, again....I think you get the idea....there was a lot of smooching going on.

I shared in this post about my memories of Dad, one of which was him going to find my mom every day when he got home from work.  I was able to share this at his funeral, also. 

I remember that he would come in the front door from work and head up the three steps, to the kitchen, where mom was cooking. 

I remember, they would stand in the middle of the kitchen hugging and sort of swaying back forth.

I remember when I was little, trying to break in and get in on their hug (sometimes they would let me and sometimes they wouldn't....that time was just for them). 

I remember that the hug would almost always end with Dad giving mom a little swat on the rear before he went off to try to read the newspaper on the couch.

I remember when I was a teenager being embarrassed that my parents kissed and hugged....and other things....as evidenced by the fact that I have a much younger sister who came along, when I, the baby of the family, was 12.

Sometime in my adult years, I made the transition from embarrassment to admiration and hopefulness that I would be able to find someone who would stand in the kitchen and hug me, like my Dad hugged my Mom, at the end of a hard day. 

I am proud to say that Rainman and I are carrying on Mom and Dad's tradition of hugging and kissing in the kitchen.....and, I am assuming, from the chorus of "Eeeewww's" that we get...we are also carrying on the tradition of embarrassing our children.

V-girl even stands near us making the kissy noises....and she and S-girl will usually try to get in on the action....sometimes we let them....and sometimes we don't.

A-man has been very interesting since my dad died.  At first, I wasn't sure that he even really "got it" that Grandpa was gone.  As we were traveling on our drive back to Minnesota....I would cry....get myself under control....then, I would talk to someone on the cell phone...and I would cry some more.

He finally just said, "Mom, why don't you just stop talking about Grandpa Doug?  Then you won't cry anymore."

Since we have gotten home, he has been really....I don't know....sensitive and thoughtful....he seems to be always watching and lurking to see if I have been crying...if I look like I am going to cry.... or, if I just look sad.  He will come over and give me a big hug....look into my eyes....and walk away.

The other night, Rainman and all of the kids were out swimming.  After about 15 minutes or so, A-man came inside.  Usually he is the first in the pool and the last out of the pool. 

Here he is swimming with his cousin, Rob....just another typical day of swimming in A-man's life.  He is the "Life of the Pool Party".

So, I asked him why he had come in so early when everyone else was still out there....and probably would be for quite a while. He looked at me for a few seconds longer than normal, then just said that he was just done swimming.

Later that night, he and Rainman went to the store to get some milk....just the two of them.  Somehow a discussion of why he had stopped swimming so early came up.  A-man told Rainman that he thought I had looked sad earlier in the day and he wanted to come in and check on me to make sure I wasn't crying.

This next picture will really only mean something to my family....and people that knew my Dad....check out his pocket.....

This is A-man being like Grandpa Doug......

He told me that he wasn't going to smile with his teeth, because Grandpa Doug didn't do that.

He told me that since Grandpa Doug is dead and I won't get to see him again until I get to heaven....he wanted to try to be like him....for me...so I won't be so sad. 

He has already checked most of his shirts to see if they have a Grandpa Doug pocket.

My Dad.....

This was my dad from August 27, 2010....his birthday.  He, my mom, my sister and her family were on their way to Georgia to visit.  That trip would be the last time I would see my dad. 

This year, I called my dad on his birthday.  Since my mom was out of town, he and I actually talked for about 20 minutes.  Normally, if mom is around, he and I would exchange pleasantries and then he would say, "Well, here's your mother."  But, this time, he and I talked.  I went out on our screened porch so I could have a peaceful talk with him.  We talked about some dreams I had been having, him feeling like he was fighting some sort of bug, the sermon he was going to preach the next day, mom being away on a girls trip with my cousins and lots of other seemingly insignificant stuff.

Throughout Dad's birthday weekend, my siblings and nieces popped in to see my dad.  My brother stopped over on Saturday and found out that Dad was preaching the next day.  My brother decided to skip his own church service that Sunday and go listen to my dad.  At the last minute, he decided to grab his video camera to tape it.

My dad died sometime Sunday afternoon, August 28, 2011....alone....peacefully....at home.

We are all still in shock.  I knew that this day would someday come, but, I thought when that day came, I would have some warning, so I could flip the switch in my brain to know that he wouldn't be around for much longer.  My switch hadn't flipped yet.  I was expecting to see him when we went up in October for an early family Christmas and again this coming winter when we went to see them in Arizona.

We are heart broken.

We know he is in heaven.

As horrible as this is, there have been blessings from God sprinkled throughout this whole thing:

* We had ALL talked to him on his birthday, the day before (The last thing I said to my dad was, "I love you, Dad."  His last words to me were, "Same here.")
* My brother deciding to go and listen to my dad's sermon.....and video taping it
* That my Dad went quickly and peacefully (blessing for him...not so much for us)
* That my sisters and I were able to sing at the funeral (something he had wanted for years and we had adamantly told him we were NOT going to do....but we did and we sang the songs he had wanted us to sing.)
* That my brother was able to share the gospel/salvation message at Dad's funeral

There are many more, but, I just feel like God knows how heart broken we are and is doing what he can to ease that burden for us.

We drove the 18 or so hours to and from Minnesota twice this past week.  That is a hard drive anytime, but knowing what was in store for us....made it harder. 

At some point during the week, A-man told me that I just needed to stop talking about Grandpa Doug, because it just made me cry whenever I talked about him.

I tried to explain that Grandpa Doug was my Dad.....then I said he was my Daddy....thinking that might make more sense to a 6 year old. 

That reminded me of my last Facebook interaction with Dad.  I had gotten up on his birthday and sent a quick message saying, "Happy Birthday, Daddy!".....then I realized that I was actually on D-man's account....so I quickly explained to Dad that I didn't realize D-man was still be logged on....and that the birthday wishes were from me and not D-man.  My Dad, replied that he figured that had been the case. 

D-man asked why I had called my Dad..."Daddy", which I don't ever do.  I told him, that down here in the South, many grown women seem to still refer to their fathers as "Daddy"....so  I was kind of trying it on for size....it didn't fit.  So, I went over to my own page and said, "Happy Birthday, Dad....talk to you soon."

But now that "Daddy" is gone, I wonder if that wasn't a little blessing from God too.....referring to him one last time as my Daddy.

The Daddy who even though he had a long day at work and just wanted to lay on the couch and read his newspaper - would still play games with me.

The Daddy who would give me whisker rubs after his hunting trips to northern Minnesota.

The Daddy who would who would come rub his smooth, Old Spice, smelling face on me after shaving.

The Daddy who told me that I would grow up to be pretty, after one of my crying spells during puberty.

The Daddy who was married to my Mom for 51 years....

...and would go find her as soon as he got home from work so he could give her a hug (and then swat her behind) - before he would go lay on the couch to be bothered by me.

The Daddy who taught me how much God loves me.

The Daddy who taught me to love the Lord.


I saw Dad in August of 2010....but, somehow, I did not get any pictures of him....except this one...

This is the only picture I have of us from the last time I saw my Dad. We went to the Coca-Cola Museum in Atlanta...

Dad and Mom came to visit us here in Georgia shortly after we moved....they helped me hang pictures and curtains and make the house a home....these are some of the last pictures I have with Dad and my kids....

I will let you in on a little secret....D-man's real name is Doug....named after my Dad.

We worked them so hard that we had to have a soak in the hot tub...

I miss you, Dad!