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Monday, July 4, 2016

A Want, Not A Need

I got myself a "want" today.

Something I wanted, but did not "need".

It was hard.

As we were leaving the store, I said to Rainman, "I feel sort of sick to my stomach."

He said, "Why?  Because you spent money?"

Well, yes, actually.


It is funny, because you work and work to get to the point where you can buy things or spend money in life without guilt, or without going into debt.  Then, when you get there (if you are me) you have trouble actually doing it!

Want to know what I got?

First let me give you a little background story about how I even came to the point were I could sort of justify spending money on a "want" in the first place.

Remember, when we moved into this house, I hated the kitchen?  Rainman assured me that we could remodel it someday.  We had visions of blowing out walls, flipping the sink around so I can enjoy the gorgeous view of our backyard through the big picture window and building our own super long farm table that would fit all of us, and eventually spouses and grandkids.

Flash forward a few years and we have paid off our credit cards and are starting to have a little freed up money for projects.  We decided that now was the time to get the kitchen some help that would make me happy.  We have a really good friend who is a contractor, so I asked him to come over and take a look at some of the things I was hoping to do, so he could tell me if they were even possible, and get a really rough ballpark figure of what it would cost for someone to complete the work. was a huge, astronomical figure.  A "NO WAY" figure.  So, I let go of my dreams and told Rainman that if I could have some money to paint the cabinets and get a gas stove, that I would be happy.

He happily agreed to that one.

I have started painting, but still haven't been able to find the time/energy and gumption to pay the $70/gallon for the Benjamin Moore Aura paint that I plan to use on the cupboards.

But, I have started the process and even with just messy primer on them, the kitchen looks tons better to me.

So, one day last week, a friend of D-man's who works at a big box electronics store and somehow knew that one day I wanted a gas stove, sent a message that they were having a 4th of July sale and some of the stoves were 40% off.


I like a good sale.

Rainman said we had already set aside money and budgeted for it, so I should go for it.

I hemmed and hawed for a bit because I didn't "need" the stove yet.  My cabinets weren't painted yet.  there wasn't anything wrong with the flat top electric stove.  I just hated cooking on it.

But, Rainman kept encouraging me to go for it.  So, I spent hours researching stoves on-line, comparing features, reading reviews and felt ready to make a somewhat educated purchase. I decided on this one.

It is a Whirlpool 5.8 cu. ft, 5 burner gas stove with a convection oven.  I am quite excited that the 5th burner is oval shaped, so I can use my big past iron rectangle skillet for pancakes again.  I am hoping I can just leave it sitting on top of the stove all the time, like I could I at our last house.

Sadly, I forgot to factor in taxes and the $140 installation fee, so I still had sticker shock at the check out counter.  I started backtracking saying that we could get the cheaper model and that if I got the expensive one I wanted I would have to cook more, so maybe I shouldn't spend such a big chunk of money on something that was only going to create more work for me in the end.

The ever so helpful young man that was checking us out, just laughed and exchanged a knowing look with Rainman.  I assume he hears this kind of panic a lot when people are getting the big ticket items.
Rainman is still laughing at me, because I really do feel sick to my stomach.  Really.  I am sure that I will love it when it gets here and is installed and everything, but for now, I still feel a little sick to my stomach because it feels like such a frivolous thing to spend money on.  You know?

You know how you always say things like, "If only we were rich...." or "it must be nice to have money"?  I have decided that I am just not built to be rich, because it is waaaaaay too hard for me to spend money,....and it actually makes me sick.  LOL