Distracted From Life

I have been distracted from life lately.  Because of this.....

Look away from the puffy, make up free face and look down to the equally puffy neck.  See the new scar?

On a side note:  When did my face turn into this?

I had surgery to have my thyroid removed.

Long story short, I had a lump.  The lump grew.  Ultrasound was performed.  Sixteen lumps were found.  A biopsy was performed on the biggest lumps.  The official results were "abnormal".  So, out it came.   Cut to the chase.  It was NOT cancer.  Yay!  They were follicular adenomas (benign tumors).  But, as stated in my pathology report, much of my thyroid was black and gelatinous.  So, my doctor and I are both glad it is out.

I was warned that recovery would take 1-2 weeks.  I laughed about it.  I joked about milking it a little longer.  But, I figured I would be back to "normal" in a few days.  I thought I would be back at church the Sunday after - not singing in the praise band - but sitting in the pew, at least.  I thought I might see a few massage clients.

Then I had the surgery and it has really taken me almost 2 weeks to recover and feel sort of human again.

It has had strange side effects that, somehow, I wasn't expecting.

I have been totally wiped out and tired.  I can take numerous daytime naps and still sleep all night long.  That has gotten a little bit better now that I am taking thyroid replacement medication, but, I am still reaaaaaaalllllly tired......plus, I spent the first 2 days after starting medication a big, old weepy mess....with my teenage son backing away from me in fear.   LOL

I have done very little in the last 2 weeks, except lay around, read, and watch t.v. (It has been sort of fantastic and I don't even feel all that guilty about it.)

I do feel a little guilty that A-man turned 10 a few days after my surgery and I didn't have the strength/energy to make his cake.  But, he got his presents, so he wasn't too sad.  Making his cake is on my agenda for this week though, so he will still get it.

My fantastic church ladies brought meals for us for while I was in the hospital and a few days afterwards.  It wasn't "necessary", but man, it was AWESOME!

Here is my problem.

I don't want to go back to my old life.

Not to say I want to nap all day, everyday or have other people bring food to us (although..... )

But, I have liked the slow pace to our days.  I have liked just snuggling and having no real expectations for my day.  It is weird.  It is crazy.  I don't want it to stop.

Sadly, it is unrealistic.  But, I am hoping to make a few changes to simplify things around here....again.  

All this couch time has allowed for a lot of praying and thinking time, too.  Self reflection.  Equal parts dreaming and beating myself up.

So, we shall see what changes actually happen and which ones I chicken out about.

I will keep you posted.

Mostly Better....I Think....

Okay, I am feeling better.  Not quite so whiny. So, it is safe for you to come back.

I think it is safe to say I was just a little overwhelmed with life and "stuff", but I have lived long enough to know that it was going to be a temporary situation.  Just like those times when I am mad at Rainman.  It passes.  It is temporary.

Last week, we started back to school and D-man started at his new school.  So, my real work started back up, so I had to at least try to get out of my slump....and I did.

But, this is what really kicked my butt out of the serious whinies....

Really?  How can you feel the least bit sorry for yourself after watching that?  You can't.  You realize that you are loved by God.  That you are fearfully and wonderfully made and that you have choices....no matter the "hand" that you were dealt.

So, that one kicked my butt into gear.

Also, one of my friends was decluttering and brought in a stack of books to our Sunday School class that she just wanted gone.  I randomly reached into the stack and brought out this thin, little book.



I started flipping through and knew that God had arranged for this book to be available for me on that day.

It has great little sections for what you may be going through and then a few Bible verses to help encourage you.

Like the section called Help!  I Am Overwhelmed!

They have subtitles like:

When I feel like giving up.....

When my life is changing....

When my finances are a mess....

When I am totally exhausted....

or the section called Getting Through the Day:

That has subtitles like:

When I need to set priorities....

When I need to be realistic....

When I need to recognize my talents....

When I should compromise....

When I need to say no....

When I must stop comparing myself to others....

When I want to make a plan....

It is a skinny little book that packs a powerful punch.  It has encouraged me and comforted me by reminding me of God's love for me and that he knew I was going to occassionally get discouraged and feel overwhelmed.

 He knew. 

He cared.

He had my friend declutter just when I needed this little book.

So, yes.  I am better.  No more therapy session posts.  Let me know if you need a few encouraging Bible verses to get you through.  I will check my little book and get back to you!

I may not be very whiny anymore, but.....I am getting to be a bit crochety though....not crochet-y....(although...speaking of crochet....look what I made last week!)

(It is a scarf, by the way....and I actually used knitting needles, not a crochet hook....just looking for a chance to brag apparently!)

Anyway....back to being crochety for a bit....

I find myself bewailing the way kids have things these days.  Like, when I found out that elementary aged kids are getting Ipads sent home with them to do their school work.  Seriously...elementary kids.  Ipads.  Sent home to be their's for the year.  I mean, really?  Aren't schools in a budget crisis or something?  Is there really something wrong with completing homework on paper?  I am not asking for a comeback of the slate tablets that Laura Ingalls Wilder used....but, come on!  Don't even get me started on hand held video games.

I think I am turning into Maxine.


Source - http://www.quotesworthrepeating.com/maxine-quotation-gallery/maxine-words-to-live-by/

Well, It Finally Happened...

Yup. 

It has happened.

If you read my post about receiving the Stylish Blogger Award and the list of things I shared about myself, you know that I have been walking 3 times a week for a while now.  Many times my neighbor comes with me.  She works from home, so we usually go on her morning break.  Well, this week, she called and told me her morning had gotten crazy, so she couldn't go in the morning, but if I would wait for her, she could go around lunch time.  So, I waited.  Then, she called and said that work was still crazy and she couldn't get away.

Oh, I was tempted to not walk. 

Really, really, tempted. 

But, it was a beautiful day and Rainman was home.  So, I thought, well, why don't we all go for a walk.  The two big girls decided to ride their bikes along with us.  A-man wanted to ride his also, but he is a crazy driver and I didn't trust him on our busy street.  So, we decided to take a stroller and the Burley.  That way all 3 of the little kids could ride if and when they wanted to and nobody would have to carry them or listen to their whining about being tired.

It started out great.  We walked.  The big girls would ride ahead and then loop back to us, but I could see them the whole time.  So, not too stressful.  Rainman and D-Man walked side by side and talked baseball.  I brought up the rear pushing the stroller with S-Girl inside.

A little ways up our street we heard a mower.  Rainman commented about how funny it was to hear a mower in February.  As we got closer to the mower, we ended up lining up single file and kind of parading past.  As I got to the yard, the older man who was mowing gave me a little wave and shut off his mower.

Oh, I thought, some Southern hospitality!!!  Maybe he will invite us in for a sweet tea or a mint julep!

His opening comment?



"Oh, you got all the grandkids visiting, huh?"

Yup.

Grandkids.

I apparently look like a grandmother.

We went on to have a fairly pleasant conversation and finish our walk.  I don't remember too much of it because I was a little distracted thinking about my rocking chair waiting for me back home.

Rainman has been through this before.  When A-man was about one, he took him with him to a meeting at church.  When she saw him come in, the secretary asked him how old his grandson was.  But, I really didn't think it would happen to me. 

We got home and were laughing about it and A-man - my little sweetheart - said....

 "I don't know why that man thought you were a Grandma, mom....you don't have short, curly hair or a wrinkly face."

I was telling a group of people about this story last night and saying, how amazing it was that A-man sort of stood up for me.  I told them that usually he is the one who tells me that I don't look good in something or that I am fat....or in his words, fluffy.

My pastor offered a little pastorly wisdom and said it was probably a case of "It's okay if I do it...but don't you talk bad about MY momma!"

So, I am off to keep growing out my hair (its only been about 15 months since I had a cut), slather on some Anew face cream and I might just call that 800 number for the LifeStyle Lift thingy that "only take about an hour"!