Minnesota.....Ahh How I Miss You.....

Recently, we took a quick weekend trip up to Minnesota to see family and attend my nephew's graduation party.  We decided to fly, since we can do it for free...even though it is standby.  Rainman had been checking flights and while they weren't empty, it seemed like there were plenty of flights that we would be able to get on.

Then, the night before, he announced that the flights were now all overbooked!

Seriously....I LOVE Minnesota and all....but how many people actually decide they need to fly there at the last minute....from Atlanta?!?  Apparently a LOT of you!

We ended up having to fly to Milwaukee, spend 3 hours at their airport and then continuing on to Minnesota.  That was fine.  I will fill you in on our flights home later, because this was really not meant to be a post where I whine about something we get to do for free.  Honest.  It was meant to talk about Minnesota.

I really didn't take any pictures of our weekend in Minnesota.  (I took some at the Milwaukee airport though.)

The fact that I have no pictures of our time there and the people we spent it with bums me out...even though I am the mook who chose not to take my camera out and capture those moments.

I think my excuse is that I was so enjoying being there...being in the moment.....watching the kids run around with their cousins....just sitting there talking to my mom and sisters....playing Buzzword.....that I didn't want to interrupt that stuff with the camera.  I don't know.  I guess I don't really have an excuse.

Somehow, I forget how much I love those people when I don't get to see them.  If that makes any sense.

I loved seeing my kids run laughing and giggling with their cousins.

I loved playing games with my sisters and being accused by Rainman and my kids of having had too many drinks because I was laughing so hard I was crying. (By the way....I hadn't had a drop of alcohol.) We are really funny when we are all together....even if we are the only ones that think that!

I loved driving near my sister's house and being flanked by the farms....the growing crops....seeing the silos in the distance.  I even tried explaining to Rainman that I missed that view.  I missed the feel I got from driving around surrounding by the farms.  He sort of got it...I think....for him....a city boy.  He said, "Yeah, we don't really have those down in Georgia.  I can't think of a single place where it looks like this."  He is right.  With our house, I have been able to find a place that is similar with trees and the lake....but, not driving through farmland to get places.  Oh well, guess you can't have it all.

On our way back from my sister's place, we even stopped at the very same Baker's Square where Rainman and I met on our first date.  We ordered our pies to go, this time.  But, it was fun reliving what each of us remembered from that night for our kids and my mom.  And, the pie was, as always, phenomenal.

We even attended services at the little church I grew up in before heading to the airport.  My mom asked me to sing.  So, I did.

We said our goodbyes and headed to the airport, where apparently everyone had also decided that a last minute trip to Atlanta was just the thing for a Sunday afternoon/evening.  Uggg....

There wasn't room for us on the next 4 flights, which is where Rainman decided to get creative.  In looking at our chances for Monday morning flights...things were not looking good either.  So....we took the last flight out of Minneapolis, to Chicago....got a rental van and 15 minutes before we got there....surprised his mom with overnight guests!  Yes, all 8 of us! (Funny side note:  Our normal van that we drive around in at home is a big, full size, extended top "party" van - as my friends call it.  My kids were enamored of the mini-vans that we rented on our trip.  The little kids are convinced that we should get one and drive around in it all the time.  The big kids understand how foolish that would be, but appreciated the ease of having doors on both sides of the vehicle and that it was kind of fun to sit right next to people that you were teasing instead having to be a whole arms length away!)

When I say that Rainman's mom had "overnight" guests, I am using that term loosely, because we got to her place about 11:00 and then headed back to the airport at 4:30 the next morning.  But, it was fun for the kids to see both their grandmas in the same 24 hour period.

I have felt behind and sort of internally hectic since we got home.  Partly because I had to cancel things we had scheduled for Monday, from the road.

I have just felt sort of.... paused.... between my two worlds.

My Minnesota life has a different vibe than my Georgia life.  Neither is better than the other, I think. Just different.  I miss my Minnesota people.  I miss my Minnesota scenery.

Whenever I think about missing my family back in Minnesota, I think about the pioneer days and the fact that, when people moved away from family, many times they actually never saw each other again.  They only had letters.  I have e-mail, Facebook, Skype (but I have yet to be truly successful in getting that to work right), and yes standby flights  - that might be inconvenient and annoying - but eventually, I do get to actually see and hug my people.  So, I can't complain too much, can I?

Transparency - What is Real?

I am working on an article about social media and its effect on teenagers, specifically teenage girls.  I was talking to one of my daughter's friends and a few of the things she said about her journey trying to let go of social media and some of the pitfalls, got me to thinking about my life and my blog.

She talked about feeling almost constantly judged.  People making mean comments or being snarky if they didn't like what she was wearing, or if they disagreed with her opinion on something.  She talked about seeing these pictures of other people's lives and knowing that they were having a lot more fun than her.

I tell my big kids all the time not to believe what they see on the internet.  And I am not just talking about about news stories.  I don't want them  to think that everyone else is having fun, fantastic times and going out all the time.  It sure can look like that though, since everybody posts every little thing about their lives.  But, a lot of it isn't real.

Which got me to thinking.....

Do I actually show you my real life?

Should I show you the real in my life?

I am in the middle of my rock and hard place.  I want to keep some privacy for the family, but I also want our stories out there.  I want my family and friends that no longer live near us to feel like they are getting a glimpse of the people my kids are turning into.  But, I don't want creeps looking at my site or my pictures and being able to find us because I have been so open.

I want to be real and relatable.  I do.  I want to be able to be an encouragement to other moms...homeschooling moms....moms with big families.....moms that don't live near family members.

But, I have to be honest, I carefully select the reality that I share with you all.

I carefully select and retake pictures of myself to post, so I look good.  So, I don't look too fat.  When the fact is....I am actually fat. I am not just a little overweight.  I don't just have a few of those stubborn baby pounds to lose.  Truth is......I have about 100 pounds to lose.  I legitimately could be a contestant on the Biggest Loser (A-man even told me that last year when he saw one of the contestants and thought she looked about the same as me. "Mom!  You should go on this show!"  )

So, yes, I have been transparent.......sort of.

I have shown you how messy my house gets here and here, but,  have I told you that it looks like that more often than not?

I have told you I do actually yell at my kids, but I haven't told you that, once in awhile, my throat is sore from how hard I have yelled at them.  It doesn't happen often.  People still tell me that they don't think I yell at the kids.  I do.  No, not all the time.  I don't need to.  But, just like my dad used to be....when I have had enough, I have had enough....so look out.  Learn the signs.  LOL 

I love Rainman.  I really do.  He is an awesome human being.  But, I haven't really told you that he is annoying and gross sometimes.  I have told you that in general terms.  I have shared that nobody ever told me that there would be times that I wouldn't actually "like" the man I married.  We do not have a perfect marriage.  It is not idyllic and romantic.  It is a constant dance of our own selifsh desires and actions, versus what will make the other person happy.   As I am typing this, I am thinking....oh man....now they will know what a jerk I am....how selfish I can be.  That sometimes, I sit in my chair and hope against all hope that Rainman will take us out to dinner, so I don't have to get up and cook.  Because, I just don't feel like it.  No good reason.  I just don't want to do it.

So, yeah, what you see on my blog is my life....sort of.

It is the carefully selected pictures and stories that I will allow you to see.

I guess that happens in real life too though.  We all have a "mom" voice that we use at the grocery store that is different than the voice that is used when rapping on the kitchen window when you see them doing something dumb in the backyard.  It is just that by having a blog I am inviting more actual strangers in to take a look.

I love my kids....more than I can truly describe to you.  But, ugg.....they do some...as Rainman would call them....boneheaded things.  Then they get yelled at.  Then they cry.  I usually don't tell you those stories on here.  Like the story of them playing catch with an open box of Cheerios in the kitchen.  Yes, no surprise here.....It ended badly.  That time though, Rainman did the yelling.  S-girl did the crying.  A-man did the flustered explanation of what they were thinking (Spoiler Alert:  They weren't).  And, the two of them did the cleaning up, while the other children passed judgment on them with snide remarks.  Which then escalated to both Rainman and I yelling at the rest of the kids to knock it off because they weren't helping and did they want us to remind them of the last boneheaded thing they did and got in trouble for?!?

It is NEVER dull here, that is for sure.

We ended up with 5 extra kids at our house a few days ago....all aged 6 and under.  So, we had 11 kids here and 2 parents.  It was actually a really good day.  Everyone had fun.  Only a few tears and boo-boos.  All in all, it was a good day.  I was exhausted when it ended and happy to see the extra kids go back home with their parents.

The next day, S-girl said to me, "Wouldn't it be great if we had 11 kids everyday mom?  Then we could have our own t.v. show and everything!"

Yikes!  I told her that I would love to have 11 kids, but that I didn't think I would want a t.v. show about our lives.  I don't want our "reality" out there in the world like that.  I like our relaxed, simple vibe around here.  I don't want to be judged by the outsiders about what we should or shouldn't be doing with our family.  I don't want to be judged for the mistakes we are making.  And, honestly...I don't want the masses to.....not like me.  That is what it boils down too.....just like a teenage girl....

Fear that I won't be liked.

On a side note:  There is "sort of" a version of us on T.V. already. We have started watching The Willis Family on TLC and take away the musical and dancing careers (LOL), that is pretty much how our family looks and runs behind the scenes.  Really.  But, again, comparison rears its ugly head and I think, "Why haven't our kids taken more advantage of the fact that we homeschool?  Why haven't they taken up song writing?  Why haven't they won dance competitions?  Why are my kids so.....normal....and average?"

We can't help but compare ourselves to others.  It is normal.  It is human.  It is dangerous.  I tell my kids that ALL THE TIME.  But, we grown ups need the reminder too. I need that reminder.  We all need to remember that what you are comparing yourself to is often a carefully constructed version of the truth.  Not a lie.  But, not quite the full truth either.  Like my blog.

I have an article coming up next month for Home & School Mosaics about rejecting being "Pinterest Shamed" for my summer with the kids.  I think I can take that to a whole other level with refusing to be "Life Shamed" by other people's lives.  To go ahead and take glimpses of their lives and enjoy seeing them.  To take ideas from what they are doing and trying with their family, but not think we are total losers if we don't operate the way they do.

I follow some awesome blogs.

There are life ones like Come Home To Roost.  She has awesome, beautiful children and takes amazing pictures.  But, if I am not careful, I end up comparing myself and thinking things like...."She is so skinny.  She has 7 kids and looks like that?!?  What is wrong with me?!?!?"

There are organizing/home ones like Sunny Side Up.  She is also another slim mom that takes great pictures, and she also has a brand new house that is becoming wonderfully organized.  If I am not careful, I could look around her world and compare myself.  I wouldn't come out on top.

There are crafting and creating blogs that I follow, like Whatever.  Another slim mom that takes beautiful pictures that decorates with colorful, fun stuff.

I think you are already getting to know my style of comparison, right?  My weak spots.

Having a blog is being part of a strange dance I am choosing to participate in.  I have a blog for a few reasons.  One of them is truly to keep my family and friends who now live thousands of miles away involved in what we are doing.  I also blog so I can get some homeschool curriculum for free by being a reviewer.

But, honestly, my other reasons are more selfish.  I want to have readership.  I want followers.  I want to be a writer.  There, I said it.  I want to turn writing into a job and make a little money on my blog.  So, I have to put things out there, that maybe I wouldn't normally tell a stranger.

What you are seeing here is reality. But, it is a small slice of our life.  A small percentage of the picture.  Not to say that what you see isn't real.  It is.  There is a LOT more to us than what you see here.  Some good.  Some bad.  Just like with the blogs I follow and have to fight the urge to compare myself too.  I am just seeing a small little slice of their lives too.  It is not as idyllic as it seems.

We all have to remember that just like movies and t.v. shows are....edited/more perfect/comical... versions of reality....so, is my blog.

So is Instagram.

So is Facebook.

This is my Goldberg's version of our life.   All based on truth, but prettied up a bit for your viewing pleasure.  Ha!

So, if you ever find yourself comparing yourselves to me, my family, my marriage, my way of homeschooling and feel like you don't measure up and you aren't....enough.

Just stop.

Don't do it.  You are enough.  You are your perfect version of....you.....and so am I.

Connections

Connections are important.

In the business and working world, the connections you make can be invaluable in this job and your next four.  It is called Networking.  Don't burn any bridges.  You never know how someone you meet today can help you get that job you really want next year.  Or something like that.....

Connections are important.

In electricity, the proper connections mean that your lights and t.v. will work and not for instance, start a fire because they were connected improperly.

Connections are important.

We had a new neighbor just move in recently.  We walked over and brought them some cookies to welcome them to the neighborhood.  I was reminded of when I moved to Georgia a little over 5 years ago now.  Hardly anyone reached out and connected with me/us.  We thought for sure there would be some of that famous Southern Hospitality and we would get some pecan pie or boiled peanuts....or something.

But, they didn't come.  We figured there was no way that they had missed us moving in....blond family.....six kids....all that jazz....we are sort of hard to ignore.

We did see our neighbor's teenage daughter out mowing one night, right next to the road...so, after a quick whispered conversation between Rainman and I about whether or not it would be creepy of us to stop and chat with her.....we decided to risk it and stopped, rolled down the window and started chatting.

First things first, that "teenage girl" was actually the mom of the teenagers that lived there.  She looked (and still does)  super young.  She looks just like......

Anna Trebunskaya from Dancing with the Stars....by the way.

So, it wasn't creepy of us at all.  Whew!

But, we had finally made our connection....with one person.  But, it was enough to help sustain me. Tina sort of saved my life.  I was so bummed to be living in Georgia away from everything I knew and almost everyone I loved.  So bummed.  So lonely.  So lost.  I also had to be the grown up and not let my kids know that I was feeling most of those things.  So, instead, I ate.  A lot.

But, that one tentative connection with Tina, started my love of Georgia and our new home.  She was a true friend.  She said things like "y'all" and "fixin'"....as in, "Y'all, I was fixin' to come over and introduce myself!"

My next connection came at the little country church that we decided to start attending.  We decided to try the church because it reminded me of my home church that I had grown up in.

Small, little, country church.

It was there that I met Miss Debbie, who would hold V-girl for me, while I sang in the little church choir.  It was there that I learned a little bit more how to discern what people with thick southern drawls were actually saying.  (It is harder than you think.)  We only stayed at the church for about a year partly because our kids ended up being 6 of the 7 children that attended that church.  But, my friendship with Miss Debbie carries on.

My next biggest connections came from the church we started attending after the little country church.  We found the church by accident really.  We drove by and saw a VBS sign and since our church only had 7 children (again....6 of which were mine), we didn't have VBS.  We all decided it would be fun.  The kids because it was a space theme....and me....because unlike my Minnesota VBS days....I wouldn't have to actually be in charge!  Yay!

So, we went to VBS and the rest...as they say....is history.  It became our new church home.

It is funny to hear people tell their stories and memories of first meeting our family that week at VBS. Again, we are a hard family to miss, you know?  It is funny to hear their ideas about the harried looking mom with a crazed look in her eyes that stumbled in with 6 kids. (I still don't think I looked like that!)  I have often wondered if they thought I was actually a single mom (since I haven't been able to fit back into my wedding ring since V-girl was born/the move to Georgia....see above reasons) What did they really think of the mom who, even though her 4 year old daughter was a little weepy everyday when she dropped her off, just gave her a hug...and left.   It wasn't that I was heartless and trying to dump my kids off with strangers so I could get a break....I just knew that S-girl is a very sensitive girl and that she would be fine....once I left....and she was.  She loved Miss Pixie and became her faithful little cling-on for the rest of the week.  And, I got a new friend out of the deal too. Pixie. (Yes, Toto, we aren't in Minnesota anymore.  We are in a magical land where people are actually named Pixie!)  

The longer I have spent at that church, the more connections I have made.  The ladies at church have truly become my Georgia family.  The list of names would be too long for me to list here!  They have been the listening ear for any and all things that have come up in my life.  The good and the bad. They are my sounding board on the big heart issues that my sisters and mom aren't here to deal with on a daily basis. They even stepped in and made food and took care of us after my thyroid surgery....just like a family would.

I was asked to share at church recently for Stewardship Sunday.  One of the things that I realized when putting together my notes for that, was that the connections I have made....with my neighbors and my church friends....is that these connections have become my hodge podge, stitched together, slight odd and quirky.... pseudo family.

My Georgia family that instead of saying things like "Uffda" and "You betcha" (but, let me say....we don't actually say that one - that is just in the movies) .......now says things like "Fixin'", "Y'all" and "Might Could".  And, yes, they really do say that last one.

IndoctriNation - Review

I was able to get my hands on a copy of the documentary by Great Commission Films called IndoctriNation - Public Schools and the Decline of Christianity in America.






I have seen clips and snippets of this film floating around Facebook for a long time, so I was super excited to get a chance to see the film in its entirety.

I really enjoyed watching this, but, I will be honest, this is going to be a very hard review for me to write.

I feel like the film is very well done.  I feel like it covered a lot of different sides of the current educational system in America.  I feel like a lot of people that are or were in the public school system were included in the movie, so it wasn't just a one-sided argument from homeschoolers about how our way is the best way.

I also feel like my public school teacher friends will feel angry or betrayed if I whole heartedly back this film.

It is also going to be really hard review to write without ticking off  the homeschooling community also.

Because, I agree with both sides.

I 100% believe that homeschooling is the very best option for our family.  I love it.  I am glad we do it.  I wouldn't want it to be any other way....for our family.

But, I do not believe that homeschooling is the best option for every family....even every Christian family.

I do understand the film makers mentality and agree that, from what I have seen, Christianity has been slowly and methodically removed from our public education system.  As a Christian, that saddens me, but more than that, it scares me, because what is sneaking in, in place of Christianity is a worldview education that I don't agree with.

Just to simplify things here, I will just use the whole "sexuality" issue.

The things that are being taught and the ages that they are being taught and introduced to this issue, in the pubic school system, is appalling to me.  It steals their innocence.  It teaches them that don't knock it till you try it...or if it feels good, go for it, you never know.  Even if, as a parent, I knew ahead of time and opted to have my child removed from the instruction in these areas, the rest of their classmates are being taught things that I don't want my kids to think are okay.  So, it is an uphill battle.  I imagine there is a lot of discussion between students about what they learned.....even if they weren't in the class.  And, looking ahead to teenage years when my kids start to date, they are being asked out by kids who sat through all those classes and learned what is okay and not okay.  Ugg....that makes me nervous and uncomfortable.

My basic point is that even if your child is removed from that particular class, that is the subject that will be talked about even when they are not in class.  That is the subject that will be whispered about, joked about, and discussed more than any other one outside of the classroom.  Too bad they don't talk about math and language arts outside of the classroom like that, right?  LOL

So, the whole message is still getting through to the kids....whether they actually sit through it or not.  Childhood is a time of figuring out how you fit into the world.  I don't want my kids swayed and taught by their peers.....on any subject, but especially not about sexuality.

I want my children swayed and taught by Rainman and I.  I want my kids influenced by family and friends that I know and trust.  Believe me when I say my circle of family and friends are not perfect. We are not all the same.  We have different lifestyles and choices.  But, the difference in my teaching them about sexuality and the world teaching them about it is night and day different.

And, yes, I do teach my children about sexuality.  We have to.  They are surrounding by it....both in the world....and in choices that they see their cousins making.  We have to discuss hard things.  We have to discuss embarrassing things.  We have to discuss what God's plan actually is for sexuality. But, God's plan cannot be discussed in public school anymore.

IndoctriNation is a fascinating look at the public school system and how Christianity has been slowly and methodically been blocked out of  America's educational system.  The historical facts and decisions included in the movie were truly interesting.

But, the best parts for me, were the interviews with current and past public school teachers.  The teachers shared their hearts about why they loved teaching and those that had left shared why they couldn't bring themselves to be part of that "system" anymore.  It is truly heartbreaking....because they were the exact people that you would WANT teaching your children.  You know?

The people like my public school teacher friends.  They are wonderful people.  Wonderful Christians.  Nice, funny, creative, big hearted, smart, intelligent people.  Just who you want teaching your children.  Except for the fact that in the current education system, they are a sort of hog tied in that they cannot openly share their faith.....even though it is a huge part of who they are.  If they are asked about it, they can share....but it can't be teacher led.

I get it.  Sort of.  I mean, honestly, I wouldn't want a Muslim or a Buddhist teacher in there openly recruiting for their faith either.  So, I get it from that aspect.  But, as a Christian, it makes me sad that my friends can't share that whole part of them that makes them so awesome.  Especially when I know it could make a huge difference in the lives of kids.

So, like the teachers in the film, they do the best they can.  They wait for students to ask them questions that they can answer.  They look for small ways to show love and share their faith with their students.....without actually using the words Christian or Jesus.   They do the best they can in the system that exists.  They are definitely trying to be salt and light to those kids.

I actually asked a few of my friends to watch this film and have a discussion with me, but none of them took me up on it.  I am not sure if it was a time thing or a fear that we would end up fighting afterwards, or if they thought I was going to try to convince them that they were wasting their time in the public school system.  I wasn't.

I really just didn't want to paint such a broad stoked idea of how evil the public education system has gotten in America.  Even though everything said in this film struck a chord with me as a Christian, and as a homeschool mom.

What IndoctriNation did for me is just helped really hit home the point that there has been a gradual culture shift thingie going on within our schools, for a long time.

I am the product of a public school education.  It wasn't horrible.  I did learn a lot.  Yes, there were things that I wish would have taught better (but, some of that was my fault).  I did learn a lot of things that were in direct conflict with Christian beliefs.  But, I also went to elementary school in the mid-70s when we still had "religious release time" once a week, where during the school day, we would troop down the block to the little church up the road and learn about Jesus for an hour.  Then we would walk back to school and learn about reading, writing and arithmetic.  It was normal.

Can you even imagine that?  It is crazy to think that was normal.

Think about other things that are "normal" or okay in today's society.  Now think about going back in time and explaining to your grandparents that they are okay.  For example, the whole Fifty Shades of Grey thing that is happening right now.   How in the world has that kind of domination and naughty sex stuff become okay and not only okay, but exciting and mainstream?

A gradual culture shift.

It is a slippery slope.

My dad used to say the same thing about the music I listened to.  He said by singing along to some of those lyrics I was becoming desensitized to what they really meant.  Although, to be honest...most of the time I had NO idea what I was singing.  (I still remember how horrified I was when I figured out what Billy Squires "The Stroke" meant.  I can vividly remember being on the dance floor in high school belting that one out  ) Or video games.....shooting all those pretend people.  I think it does desensitize people to the realities of actually pointing a gun at people and pulling the trigger.  It just seems wrong.

Lots of the things that are being taught in the public school system just seem wrong to me too.

But, I have chosen to homeschool.

Not everyone can make that same choice.

I understand that.

I wish there was an easy answer.  But, there isn't.

The public education system has gone a long way down the road away from Christian principles and it will be a long time, if ever, that it comes back.

Do I recommend this film?

Absolutely.

I would love for my friends to watch it.  Homeschoolers or not.  Christians or not.  It is an interesting film.  It makes a lot of good points that resonated with me.  One of them being how happy I am that we have chosen to homeschool our kids. But, it also made the point to me (and I have seen this in my friends) that there are good, Christian people inside the system that want it to be better.  That love those kids.  Their hands are just tied.  That is sad.

You can get your own copy of IndoctriNation, so you can make up your own mind, for $19.95.

I wish that I would have been able to convince one of my teacher friends to watch it and give me their opinion.  But, for me, someone who for various reasons, has already decided to homeschool their children, this movie was a hit.  Even though my original reasons didn't match up with the movie's focus that schools are not "neutral" ground and that, Christianity has, in essence, been able to be removed, even though there are still many Christian teachers and leaders,  It just reinvigorated my desire to keep the kids with me, schooling at home.

To take a look at what other reviewers thought of IndoctriNation.

Doing The Mom Thing

The blog has been quiet lately.  But, that doesn't mean there aren't things happening in my life.

It hasn't been anything earth shattering.

Just......doing the "mom" thing.



Grocery shopping.

Making Christmas cookies. (That we have given all away, so now I have to make some more today so we have some to eat and some to leave for Santa)

Christmas caroling (I was sad that I had a few eye rollers/complainers this year----however, all eye rollers were happy in the end because, in their words, "Everyone was SO happy to see us!")

Volunteering here and there.

Shopping. (Spending more than we had intended because we kept having to "even" things out among the kids)

Ten hour road trips to see family for 24 hours then drive another 10 hours home.

Reminding the children (and husband) to wash their hands every time I turn around so nobody succumbs to whatever icky thing that is floating around.

Trying to build/run my new Jamberry business. (Still TOTALLY digging my nails!)

Laundry. (Especially because I said that I wasn't going to let any of the kids open their presents until their rooms were completely clean.  Yes, I sort of shot myself in the foot with that one, didn't I?)

Dishes (yes, I am still the only one that realizes that pots and pans need to actually be washed and not just shoved around on the counter)

I now have 2 partially unpacked suitcases on my bedroom floor.  The first is from my trip to Minnesota over Thanksgiving and the second is from my trip to Indiana last weekend.

We are having our Christmas Dinner at lunchtime today because Rainman is working tomorrow.  My turkey is in the oven, but my potatoes are waiting to be peeled and my green bean casserole is awaiting my magic.  (That is one of the things that my kids love "my" version of waaaaay better than anyone else's!)

I still have not wrapped one single gift.

So, as soon as I finish this post, I am banishing my children to the basement, I am turning on White Christmas (because for some reason all my people are lukewarm about one of the greatest movies ever) and I will wrap until my legs fall asleep from trying to sit on the couch/floor to get them wrapped.

We will attend both Christmas Eve services at our church tonight (kids are in the live Nativity at the early service and I am singing O Holy Night at the late service).  Rainman will attend his church's service somewhere in there too.

Then, since Rainman is working tomorrow, we will all get up early to open presents from each other and Santa.  Hopefully, we can get everyone to bed sort of early tonight....since Santa can't come until they fall asleep....and Rainman has to leave for work a little after 9:00 a.m.

So, yeah....just doing the mom thing around here....like all of you.

Tiring, but worth it.

Kayla 101

Today's post is a mini course on getting to know me.

Getting to know me via on-line personality tests. Strange little things, but crazily accurate, in my opinion.

They have been a fun time waster between my real life activities, but, honestly, they have also taught me a few things about myself.

This might have been part of their whole plan, but, I always ended up feeling pretty good about myself when I saw the results....even the weaknesses, didn't seem that "weak". And, I always recognized myself in the results.

I realize this may sound a bit too deep, but, these personality tests also helped me to realize that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by God....just this way....and that is totally, 100% okay.

Okay.......Want to know my results?

This first one was about my name....but it was really more than that.

The Hidden Meaning of my Name:  The Peculiar One (Now that doesn't sound super flattering at first, does it?)

Here is what it said about me....

You are misunderstood by the feeble-minded and mysterious to the faint of heart. To those who can see below the surface however, you are highly fascinating and truly lovable. It might take a second for you to warm up, but once you do, you're leagues ahead of everyone else. You are authentic and extremely versatile!

The part that I think was strangely accurate.....I am often misunderstood.  For awhile, I thought it was just because I was a northerner living in Georgia, but when I really thought about it,  I wasn't easily understood in Minnesota either (except by my sisters)!  The people that have dug a little deeper and gotten to know me, find me....if not "lovable", then certainly pleasant!  

Oh, and one more thing that was right on the money?  I will admit that it totally takes me awhile to warm up to people.  I do not encourage friendship right away with anyone.  I am very cautious about who I decide to let in.  I used to feel sort of bad about that, like there was something wrong with me.....but, I don't anymore.

My next test was a mini-Myer's Briggs type assessment through this site.

I ended up as an INFJ....which is the most rare personality type (only 1.5% of the general population, apparently) 

Here is the description (It is a little long, so if you are bored already, no worries.....go check the other blogs you follow and check back another time  ):


INFJs are kind, mindful, complex and highly intuitive people. This is the most rare personality type of all, only 1 percent of the population has it.

They like to organize their outer world in categories and priorities they never stop redefining. However, they have a great intuition and deal with their inner life very spontaneously. They perceive and understand things very intuitively and are very rarely wrong about their intuitions. This dichotomy between their inner and outer life may result in INFJs being less organized than other Judging types.

Because of their great instincts, INFJs understand people and situations very easily. They often feel when something has happened to some of their friends of family members even if they cannot really explain to themselves how they perceived it. Those strong intuitive capabilities may lead them sometimes to stubbornness and ignoring other people's opinions since they trust their instincts above everything else. This attitude should not be perceived as arrogance as INFJs are perfectionists and think they should always improve themselves and the world around.

INFJs set up a strong value system for themselves and always care about living in accordance with their values and ideals. They are warm and easy going as long as they do not have to compromise their values.

Warm and caring, they hate conflicts and will avoid hurting people. They will generally internalize their anger which can be a source of stress and health problems for them.

In the work place, most INFJs show up in creative and independent positions. They are good at art and sciences where they can use their intuition at best. They are generally bad at dealing with details and prefer working on the big picture.

INFJs are natural nurturers, protective and devoted. They make loving parents and build strong bonds with their children.

I feel like I could comment on each paragraph with how I agree/how accurate they are and give examples from my life to prove it is true.  For instance......

I do feel like I understand people and situations very easily.  I can't explain it.  I get a "feel" for a person or a situation and I am almost always right.  Seriously, ask Rainman.  I cannot tell you how many times we have been at a party or something and I have told him that a couple were fighting, or that someone was lying, and have been right.  He always wants me to explain in great detail why I think I am right about people or situations.....and I can't.  I just know.

Here is another one where my result was the same, INFJ, but this one lists strengths and weaknesses:

INFJ Strengths

• Creative - Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counselors and advisors.
• Insightful - Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.
• Inspiring and Convincing - Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.
• Decisive - Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.
• Determined and Passionate - When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.
• Altruistic - These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

INFJ Weaknesses

• Sensitive - When someone challenges or criticizes INFJs’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.
• Extremely Private - INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.
• Perfectionistic - INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.
• Always Need to Have a Cause - INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.
• Can Burn Out Easily - Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.

 Like I said, most of the weaknesses didn't really seem quite like actual weaknesses, but just another facet of what makes me....me.

Ask Rainman if the "Sensitive" part is true.  Hahahahahaha......  I am extremely sensitive and I don't like to be questioned about whether I am right or not.  Because, of course, I am!  Ha!  Questioning my motives will definitely earn you the cold shoulder from me. Once again, just ask Rainman. 

The whole "extremely private" part is totally true.....which is also why moving to Georgia 5 years ago and having to actually make friends was a sort of horrific episode in my life. I assume it is also why I don't feel like I need a lot of friends, just a select few.....and my sisters, who understand me.

Like I said, these have been really fun to do, but I sort of feel like now, in my mid-40's, I am finally really figuring out who I am.  And, that who I am is okay and doesn't need to really change all that much.  I feel a bit empowered....like I am an INFJ, hear me roar. 

Or, as Popeye would say, "I yam what I yam."

Now you sort of know who I "yam" too.

Take some of these tests for yourself and see what you are.  Let me know what you are, especially if you are another rare INFJ like me!

Goings On......Summer 2014 - Part 1

I finally have my computer back and now that we have started back into school, I can back to a bit more regular blogging about our lives.

We went on a whirlwind road trip to see family this summer.

We started at a family reunion for Rainman's side of the family.  Three of his siblings were missing this year though.

My kids were in heaven for numerous reasons......lots of cousins....and lots of babies!

V-boy giving V-girl one is his "love" head butts.  It is the most adorable thing in the world!

Rainman, Mini J-girl, and A-girl.

It warms my heart that my boys love babies just as much as my girls do!

A-man with one of the happiest, easy-going babies ever....E-girl!

Pool fun.  Since we don't have a pool at our new house, they had a great time at the pool.  There is A-girl in her fabulous homemade swimsuit.

I cannot even tell you how many times L-girl and I fought over possession of the babies on this road trip!  Seriously.

Our cabin was near a town called French Lick, Indiana.  D-man, V-girl and I went and walked aroundthe hotel and grounds.  D-man is trying to get a selfie of himself with the fancy chandelier to send J-girl. 

From the reunion,  we went and spent the day in Rainman's hometown so he could play a round of golf and attend their annual Pierogi Fest.  I hung out at his brother's house snuggling with Mini J-girl and was a happy camper.  Bonus:  They brought me a plethora of Polish food to eat.

Here is his cousin Paulie with the "Bushas"!

We left his hometown and headed up to my brother's new place in Wisconsin.

We even managed to get all the grandkids together in one place....that hasn't happened in awhile!

I love their new place!  Rolling hills, dirt roads, cows....and my family.  I was in heaven.



They have a river near their house, so the kids and a few grown ups went and played there, while the rest of us took the nearby Leinenkugel's beer tour!  I don't even like beer...but I really liked the Summer Shanty and the Berry Shanty....which Rainman says doesn't prove a thing because they aren't "real" beers!





This is my brother and his wife posing in front of their "Glamper".  This is a random shot from somewhere they were visiting.....because I totally forgot to take a picture!  I just wanted to show you were Rainman and I slept while we stayed there.  It is the coolest thing ever.  It really is the best way to camp.  A real bed.  Doors and windows to protect you from stray wildlife that may want to come and visit....but with screens and windows so you can see the stars and hear the nightsounds.  I slept great!!!!  It apparently even has a t.v. and DVD player if you want to watch movies!

We had time to fix each others hair, tell an embarrassing dating story...or two....hurt Rainman's feelings (who was sitting in the next room with the guys) with above mentioned story....have a little more baby time...and then head over to Minnesota.

In Minnesota we spent more time with my mom and sisters.  D-man was in heaven with my mom's new to her lawn mower....we haven't had a riding mower at our house in years.....he was a very happy teenager!

We concluded our whirlwind trip by spending a day or so visiting our friends that are, as my kids calls them, "almost cousins" in Iowa before our trip back to Georgia.  And, I realized as I was putting together this post that I took exactly "0" pictures of our time with them.  Zero!

There really is nothing like family.  I know some people don't really like their families, so seeing them, or not seeing them is no big deal.

That is not how we feel.

We love our families.  Both sides. I love his side of the family, and get along great with them.  He gets along with my side too,  although I will admit there are times that he just sits back and shakes his head at us sometimes.....especially when I am with my sisters.  I am sure it is just because we are just so darn adorable and clever that there are no words to describe it.  Right?

There is a comfort and safety when we are around them.  They understand you....and your quirks. They will laugh until they cry with you.....I have discovered that this is a rare gift to have in your life.

I felt like I breathed deeper the closer to Minnesota I got.  I do love Georgia....now.

But, it still really isn't.....home....yet.

Kitchen Progress

You probably remember that the kitchen was my least favorite part of our new house.  It was sort of dark....even with the big huge windows....there wasn't much counter space....and I am not in love with the shiny wood cabinets.

So, I have been working on changes.....thinking and trying out other changes.....

Here is where we started:

The white cabinet that the microwave is sitting on was from a closet we ripped out at our Minnesota house. (Make note of the stuff on top of the microwave for later in the post.)

The middle island is Rainman's old dresser.....because it was the right height and I figured out at my last house (the one with the beautiful, but small kitchen), that I really like drawers for stuff, rather than cabinets.


So, I painted the kitchen and took down the wallpaper border and curtain thingies.

It was happier and brighter, but my "island wasn't cutting it.  So, I started looking up ideas and plotting and planning.  My friend's hubby is in commercial construction and is between projects right now, so when he finished up her "to do" list, I asked if he wanted to take on a few of my projects too.

I won't say that he jumped at the chance, but he did agree to it!

So far, he has built me a temporary island, so I can try it on for size and see what I think....before it becomes permanent.

So far, I am LOVING it.

The other change I am considering is with the microwave thing in the corner.

I had already painted the bottom unit my fun, citrus green.....but the top of the microwave just ended up being a junk pile filled with stuff that people didn't know where it went....or stuff we thought we would need quick access too...maybe.  You know, coupons, batteries, fly swatter, various plastic parts that we weren't sure what they went to, but didn't want to lose. (See the above before picture of the kitchen.)

Anyway, my friend, Betty, recently remodeled her kitchen and got new cabinets.  She had her old ones put in her garage for storage options....but, her microwave cabinet wasn't needed, so she passed it along to me.  

The funny thing is, the little cut out parts of the doors perfectly match the little cut-outs in my cabinets, so once it is painted, it will seem like it was always part of the kitchen.

When we first put it up there, I didn't like it.....because I felt like it sort of blocked the light and I didn't like the bulk of the cabinet on top.  But, now, only 24 hours later, I am sort of digging it.  It makes that corner of the kitchen seem more like it is part of the whole kitchen, you know?  Like it isn't such a wasted corner space.  The other positive thing is that the junk pile that used to be on top, is now behind closed doors, so it is our little secret, right?

I am sure once I get all my cabinets painted, I will like it even more and with the lighter color I am planning, it will reflect some of the light back, so it won't seem so dark.  I am considering using a milk paint in a white/cream for my cabinets and then a fun color...probably aqua on my island....but we shall see what I settle on.

S-girl Cuteness

I got a real laptop computer this year.

It is mine.

Mine, I tell you.

Little hands and even Rainman's big hands are banned unless there is an emergency....in other words, unless there is blood involved from a family member.....and the bloody person had better not be the person looking up information!

Up until my laptop purchase, our whole family shared 1 old (yes, something purchased in 2009 is now considered "old") desktop computer.

I had 2 ancient laptops that I used in my life as a transcriber/minute taker.

They died long ago, but the kids have kept them to use when they are playing house.

Recently, I noticed S-girl sitting next to me looking deeply into her laptop.  She would look closely.  She would type something.  She would write something on her screen....yes, write something....with a pen.

(Apparently she was also looking like a crazy woman while she typed)

I will admit I freaked out a bit when I saw her using a pen on the screen.  Yes, I know the computers are dead and gone....somehow it just made me think that the kids would try to do it to our regular computer too.

Then I walked around to the other side of her and saw this.

It is her "Fathbook" page......taped to the screen.

And her "Pintrest" page.

Her "pins" crack me up.  I am assuming this is for a fashion/beauty page.

She has created numerous other replacement pages for her work and other on-line activities.  Honestly, she can play this game for quite awhile, just working away at her computer.

What Northerners Don't Understand About Porch Swings

When I lived in Minnesota, I didn't know anyone who had a porch swing.

I did know a few lucky people who had screened in porches.

But, nobody with a porch swing.

I suppose it could be because being outdoors in Minnesota is not always the most pleasant undertaking. One time of the year it is because of the snow and ice and the rest of the year it is because of......mosquitoes.

I did know a few lucky people who had screened in porches, and a few people that had wooden free standing swings out in their yards. My parents actually got one of those when I was in high school.

But, the northern version of these outdoor, grown up, swings were big chunky, log type structures.  Very at home in the woods and lakes of Minnesota.  In theory, they are a fantastic idea.



But, here, in the south, they have porch swings.

Smaller, delicate grown up swings, that hang from chains.....not logs.

Honestly, I remember seeing porch swings in movies and t.v. shows, like The Andy Griffith show, and having romantic visions of sitting out there with a sweetheart, holding hands, exchanging a few smooches.  Maybe even receiving a wedding proposal while swinging....he would drop down to one knee in front of me........

My mind was equally divided between thinking having a porch swing would be magical.....and, how unrealistic it was for people to actually sit on their porches in the spring and summer time....drinking mint juleps, or whatever unrealistic southern people drink.  (For the record, I have now learned that they would be drinking sweet tea or Coke....not mint juleps.)

Unrealistic.

Ridiculous, even.

Again, I plead mosquitoes.  If you have never lived in Minnesota, you don't understand.  The thought of sitting on my porch swing with that special buzz in my ears and slapping my shiny skin, that smells like Off, didn't sound appealing.

The idea, however, of  having a porch swing was magical.

But, I thought it was a kind of T.V. magic......unrealistic.  You know the kind of T.V. magic, where people don't lock their doors and nobody wakes up with morning breath, smudged mascara, creases in their face, or crazy unibomber hair.

Yes, unrealistic T.V. magic.

A pipe dream.

When we first moved to Georgia, we had a pool.  We even had a screened in porch. But, no porch swing.

At our new house, we have NO pool, but we do have a porch swing.

When we made the offer for the house, I actually asked for it to be included in the sale of the house.   They agreed.

Let me tell you, what I have discovered at our new house.

I was right.

Porch swings are magical.

T.V. magic is sometimes.....real.

Porch swings are wonderful and peaceful.

I love it.

I sneak out there when I need a moment away from the chaos inside our home.

I sit out there, balance my coffee on the porch railing, and read a book.

I watch the deer across the street.

I feel the breeze blow.

I watch the squirrels chase each other.

Sometimes, I just......swing.  I don't do anything.  I don't think deep thoughts.  I just....swing.

I have to admit that most of the time, I prefer to sit alone on the swing because then I can control the speed and frequency of the actual swinging (goodbye romantic notions of my teen years).

I will be sitting on the swing and eventually, a kid or two will find me and plop down in the chairs we have out there, and just chat with me.....if more than 2 kids show up, I scootch over and share the swing.

I love it....even if my initial reason for being on the porch was to sneak away from chaos.

When my mother-in-law was staying with us recently (recovering from falling and breaking her pelvis)....our porch was just one small step down, so she could come sit and get some fresh air everyday.

Life just slowed down.

We just sat.

Sometimes we talked.

Sometimes we would just sit and wait/hope for the leaves to move so we could feel the breeze.

D-man sits out there with J-girl.  They face each other and chat, one leg under them and one leg dangling over the edge, slowly pushing the swing.

L-girl now uses it to get away for some quiet reading time.

When this little guy was visiting us.....

I took him out the porch swing and sat with him.....just sat......he took turns looking at the leaves and looking into my face to make sure I was an okay person for him to trust....while I just slowly swung back and forth assuring him that I loved him and he was safe.....until he believed me and snuggled in and fell asleep.

Magical, I tell you.

We are getting to the point, weather-wise, that it is hard to sit outside....even in the shade......during the daytime hours.

But, I have discovered I like to sit out there as the sun is setting and watch the lightning bugs flashing in the yard.....sometimes that is peaceful and other times it is chaotic, because my littles are scurrying around trying to catch the lightning bugs to use as nightlights in their bedrooms.  Either way.....I am happy.

I have learned that the south might have bigger, scarier looking bugs than Minnesota.  But, the mosquitoes here are NOTHING compared to Minnesota.  I have never had the feeling  that I was being eaten alive like I did in Minnesota.

So, we sit out there at dusk.

We sit out there at night.

We sit out there in the morning.

In the fall and winter, I will once again, sit out there during normal business hours. 

Last winter, I  just took a little lap blanket and a cup of tea - sort of like a little old lady - I know.  But, it was cozy and relaxing.

It just slows down my life.

I fit on it sideways, so I can lounge with my feet up and watch the trees.  I need a pillow to do that for long periods of time though....the chain sort of digs into my back.

I have made one small change to make me love my porch swing even more....

I just need some cute and comfy pillows and it will be just about perfect.

The magic is real.

Northerners can't possibly understand how magical having a good, old fashioned, porch swing can be.

Honestly, they can't.

There are just too many mosquitoes up there.