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Sunday, December 13, 2015

Not Just a Sunday Thing - Week 9

Do you ever wake up and "fix" your dreams?  Or is that just me?

I had a few back to back dreams this week.  Dreams that didn't end well, so, I had to fix them, as soon as I woke up.

The first one was sort of a Planet of the Apes-type one that had our family being split up on different sides of town and the gorilla ape people were picking and choosing the people that they were going to be taking home to be their servants...or something like that.  (I will be honest and say that I have never seen a complete version of Planet of the Apes because it creeped me out too much).  But, anyway, I was standing in line with my 3 youngest, wondering where Rainman and my 3 bigs were....meanwhile, we were moving closer and closer to the front of the line and it was becoming clearer and clearer that we would not be allowed to stay together as a family unit.  I started to panic.

Then, I woke up.

This dream was followed, in the same night, by a dream where the family was again somehow in two different places and I was only in possession of the littles....again.  This time around, there were aliens, in disguise as very large, military like people, rounding up humans and putting them on buses to be taken....I don't know where.  I somehow got separated from S-girl and A-man, but was still holding tight to V-girl.  I can remember in my dream bending over and whispering to her that mom was about to tell a lie, but this time it was okay, and that she needed to play along with me.  I spotted S-girl and A-man on a bus looking out a window at me.  Scared.  I went over to that bus, reached around people, grabbed them both, said something to the alien standing there with a clipboard that we had to go to the bathroom. I did a quick, whispered instruction to the other two that they needed to pretend they needed to go really bad.  I grabbed their hands and whisked the three of them off towards the bathrooms.  Telling any alien that we passed that we had permission and we would be right back. But, instead of going to the bathrooms, we went down to the basement of the building, to try and escape and find Rainman and my big kids.

Then, I woke up.

After both dreams, I woke up and immediately "fixed" the outcome.

I don't remember exactly what my new endings were, or how exactly we escaped capture and enslavement,  but it was something along the lines of...then we found Rainman and the other kids....snuck away to the country....and were safe and lived happily ever after.  Together.  At which, I promptly rolled over and fell back asleep.  (Well, I probably got up and peed and then got back into bed, rolled over and fell asleep.)

I actually remembered both of the dreams the next day and Rainman had a good laugh at both of my scenarios. We wondered what a psychologist or someone skilled in dream analysis would think of my dreams.

Then, I got to thinking that God had used dreams and dream interpretation in the Bible to actually get a message delivered.

So, of course, I started worrying a bit that someone or something was going to try to separate my family and not let us be together.  I wondered if God was trying to tell me something about our family sticking together and not getting separated, and definitely having the courage to stand up and do whatever it took to stay together. (Believe me, the apes and the aliens were large, scary and imposing - but I stood up to them - know?)

I have no idea if my dreams were random or really meant something.  I just know it solidified in my head what is important to me.

I have a lot of good, and even great things in my life.

A nice house.  Two vehicles that are actually paid for.

I am making a little money working outside the home.  That is great.

Singing in the praise band and choir at my church is great.

Even living in a country where I am able to talk about God and worship Him openly and proudly is great.

All great things, but, what it really boils down to is that Rainman and my 6 little humans that get to be mine, are what is really, truly important to me.  That really is the most important thing.  Important enough for me to "fix" pretend situations in my dreams that stop that from being my reality.

It made me think of that trite saying  everything will be fine as long as we are together.  The older I get, the more I agree with it....sappy or not.

It reminded of back when Rainman had told me we were going to have to move to Georgia.  I cried.  A lot.  Mostly in secret.  I proceeded with all the stuff that went along with relocating our family.  Packing.  Making all the arrangements, talking to the moving company, disconnecting services.  All that "stuff" that goes with a big movet.  But, my stoic demeanor had Rainman convinced that I was actually angry.  Angry at him for making me move away from my family.

Everything came to a head one Sunday afternoon.  I can't remember exactly how it started, but it turned into an actual yelling argument...he accused me of being angry that we had to move.  I yelled back, "I am not angry!  I am sad.!"  I continued yelling at him  that I was holding it together the best I could and how dare he tell me how I could or couldn't feel.

It was at this point that I dramatically threw myself down on our bed and sobbed into my pillow. Now, remember, I was like 6 or 7 months pregnant when this all happened cut me a little slack in your minds.  Okay?

Rainman, who was rightfully shocked by this very out of character outburst from me, stood awkwardly for a few moments before finally sitting down next to me.  He proceeded to sort of pat my back while he quietly told me that the kids and I didn't have to move, that he could commute.  Lots of other people were planning to fly back to Minnesota on weekends and he figured he could do that too....then I could stay close to my family.

I remember letting his words sink in.  I remember them being sweet, but really kind of ticking me off a bit too (remember....pregnant).  I sat up and said to him, "You and the kids are my family, where you are....we are.  You are going to Georgia, so we are going to Georgia."

I have said it before and I will say it again, God made it clear almost from the beginning that He had plans for us in Georgia.  Things just kept falling into place that made it clear that we were supposed to end up in Georgia, whether we liked it or not. (believe me when I say we tried just about everything to be able to stay in Minnesota)

Here we are.  In Georgia.  Together.  D-man will be leaving our home next fall to go to college.  I wonder if that thought isn't bouncing around in the back of my subconscious mind causing these dreams.....wondering how I will cope when my family unit of 8, starts dwindling to smaller numbers....

I just have to calm my psyche with the thoughts and belief that we are where we are supposed to be, with the people we are supposed to be with and not let ourselves get too distracted by other things, or even other people who might be trying to "Planet of the Apes" our family.

What I learned from my dreams is....Don't mess with mama.  She will fix it, if she can!  God gave me a gift in these people.  I am going to be with them as much as I can.  We are at our best and strongest when we are together.  Maybe we should all start holding  hands whenever we go places so we don't get separated....LOL!